Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, there are large number of young adults as compared with the number of older people.

One of the biggest advantage of young people is they contribute in country economy. They learn fast they develped there skills very fast. In I.T sectors there are lot of youngster who activly working and contribute their efford in country econmy.Goverment also facillitaes them so they can genrate more money. Young adult is the future of there country they know how to use latest technology in departments as compared with older people they are much not aware of latest technology. Young people are doing there buissness .They are manging there buissness very smart and faster .Like now a days if they want to sell there prouducts they simply use the internet where they sell products online .In this way they get lot of revenu. Evedn they sell there company products from one country to another country. If we see in banking sector or any sector company preffer youngster in there sectore v.Because he know what to do .He adopted the things very quick and fast.Companies are oreffering young genration to joing there company.

while, on the other hand there are some disadvantages which need to be solve. as young genration are increasing we also created lot of jobs for them. we can see if some company open a one job vaccancy thounds of youngster are trying to get that job at the end only on of lucky person get job other are jobless.In pakistan ,there are many young adults ,so we have to created lot of job opportunity.

In conclusion i must say there are many advantages of young people as compare to disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position in the conclusion, stating that the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages, and you give relevant reasons such as economic contribution, technology use and business activity. The discussion of unemployment also recognises a genuine drawback. However, the response addresses the question only partially because the advantages receive much more attention, while the disadvantage is briefly stated and not weighed against the benefits. Several claims, such as companies preferring young workers, are repeated or asserted without a specific example or explanation. Develop both sides more evenly and explain why the economic benefits are more significant than the pressure to create jobs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a basic overall structure: the response begins with the topic, discusses advantages, introduces a disadvantage and ends with a conclusion. The reader can generally follow the main line of argument. However, progression within the main paragraph is weak because several points about technology, business and employers are placed together without clear grouping or development. Linking phrases such as “on the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal stages, but connections are sometimes mechanical or unclear; the opening “while” does not form a complete transition. Use separate, focused paragraphs for the main benefits and the drawback, and connect each example explicitly to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economy,” “latest technology,” “jobless” and “job opportunity,” so the main ideas are usually understandable. However, the range is limited and many words or phrases are repeated, particularly “young people,” “company” and “fast.” Frequent spelling errors, including “develped,” “econmy” and “vaccancy,” also make the writing less clear and weaken control of vocabulary. Some expressions are not natural in context, such as “contribute in country economy” and “get lot of revenu.” Build a wider set of accurate collocations for employment and economic growth, and proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple patterns, and you attempt some longer structures, for example, “if they want to sell their products they simply use the internet.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently across the response. Examples include missing articles and plural forms in “there are large number,” subject–verb agreement in “One of the biggest advantage,” and incorrect verb forms in “we have to created.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, with several ideas joined together without full stops. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled clauses. Check articles, agreement, verb forms and punctuation during revision.

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