Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

large work force > less labour shortage problem > groth of multiple industries

contribute to an economy > asset of country > more oppourtunities >l

less reliance on foriegn workforce>

disadvantage

lack of oppoutunities > competitive market> less per capital income

Nowadays, with the rapid development of society, the increasing number of adolescents as compared to an aging people has become one of the most widely discussed issues around the world. While an adults population can create several challenges for governments, it also provides certain benefits to society. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages before concluding that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin with, one significant advantage of having an adult population is that they can contribute more in a growth of a country.If given a clear directions from goverment to the teenagers and trained them for emerging and evolving industries like for example, artificial intelligence, IT , technology, and health.A country can have large workforce and less labour shortage problems.adults are more energetic, open mided , physically stronger as compared to older people.if they accquire knowlge and broadens thier horizon by adapting new skills they can be a valuable source for a country and contribute significantly in gdp.In addition multiple industries can grow significantly.As a result, their skills and wisdom can be transferred to younger people, particularly in workplaces and family environments. For example, experienced workers can mentor younger employees and help them develop important professional skillsAnother important benefit is younger populations act as an asset for any country.the country can become less independent on foriegn workforce.Despite these benefits, the younger population can also create significant challenges. One major drawback is the increased pressure on government to create more employment resources.This is because after completing education young adults have to work if there is no proper job oppourtunities it can create drastic competetion and lack of work and country economy suffered.As a result, governments may need to allocate more resources to education, practical training institues and healthcare Furthermore, a smaller working-age population may lead to labour shortages and reduced economic productivity.In conclusion, although teh adult population can place financial pressure on governments and healthcare systems, I believe that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This is because young people provide valuable expertise, strengthen economy, and can continue contributing to communities when proper support systems are available.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view in the introduction and conclusion: “the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.” The discussion of a larger workforce, industry growth and reduced reliance on foreign workers is relevant, and you explain a disadvantage through competition for jobs. However, some points are not fully developed or are unclear. For example, the claim that young adults can transfer “skills and wisdom” to younger people is not clearly connected to the age group being discussed, and the reference to healthcare pressure is introduced without explanation. The point about reduced productivity also conflicts with your earlier argument for a larger workforce. Develop fewer ideas with clearer explanations and examples, and ensure each point directly supports your comparison of advantages and disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, a main discussion of benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use signposts such as “To begin with,” “Despite these benefits,” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within the main paragraph is difficult to follow: several ideas run together, and the shift from workforce benefits to mentoring and then foreign-worker reliance is abrupt. The sentence beginning “If given a clear directions” is not properly connected to the surrounding explanation. Some linking phrases, including repeated “As a result,” make the organisation feel mechanical, while the conclusion introduces healthcare pressure that was not clearly established. Use separate, focused paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and connect each claim to its explanation with clear referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “labour shortage,” “emerging and evolving industries,” “economic productivity,” and “practical training.” These choices show an effort to discuss employment and national development rather than relying only on basic terms. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word combinations are frequent enough to make parts of the response less clear, as in “oppourtunities,” “foriegn workforce,” and “less independent on.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “adult population” when the essay mainly discusses young adults, and “employment resources” for available jobs. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Reusing a smaller set of precise terms consistently would be more effective than adding ambitious phrases whose meaning or fit is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure (“If given…”) and a contrast clause (“although…”). This gives the response some variety, but control is uneven, and several sentences are incomplete or difficult to parse. For example, “If given a clear directions from goverment to the teenagers and trained them…” lacks a clear main clause and has an inconsistent structure. In “A country can have large workforce,” the article is missing, while “young adults have to work if there is no proper job opportunities” has a mismatch between the singular and plural forms. Punctuation is also needed to separate several ideas that currently run together. Build shorter, complete sentences first, then add complex clauses with consistent subjects and verb forms.

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