Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argued that the population of some countries relatively large number of young adults. The youngsters were have high paying skill or strategies to work hard rather than older people that's why advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages. In some other countries, the population of younger adults is high because of from the childhood it were focus on the future goals.

The main advantages is that young adults have high body stamina, physical energy and work capacity. They were from the backbone of the active labor force, filling critical roles in manufacturing, technology, agriculture, and construction. For example, The large companies or firm were hiring on demand when they need new staff they were search in the market or post an advertisment. A large number of applicant were applying in this post. After that they were hiring in search of skills or active staff to examine in future they were work hard for the companies in different department like manufacturing, Admin dept or finance and marketing department.

On other side, the older people were play significant role in the market. The main disadvantages is that in current modern era, they were high job seeker in this community but the job provider aslo very low. Educational institute and public infrastructure were also faced struggle. For example, The comapny were advertise of hiring marketing department or staff but younger adults were applying in huge amount. on other side, the post available for one candidates but application infront of thousand.

Overall, I strongly agree that younger adults were work very hard for their backwards home and future also. i often argued that the advantages ot the younger adults is outweight the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall preference in the conclusion, stating that the advantages of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages, and your point about young adults contributing to the workforce is relevant. However, the response only partially develops the comparison asked for. The discussion of stamina and employment is repeated through a lengthy hiring example, while the disadvantages are less clearly explained: competition for a limited number of jobs is mentioned, but its effects on young people or society are not explored. The opening also makes broad claims about young adults’ skills without supporting them. To strengthen the response, explain both sides with specific consequences and examples, and maintain a clear position throughout rather than relying mainly on a final assertion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has recognisable paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages and conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and ideas are repeated rather than developed. For instance, the advantages paragraph moves from physical energy to companies advertising vacancies and then to departments, without clearly showing how each point supports the argument. Linking phrases such as “On other side” and “After that” are used, but they do not always express the relationship between ideas accurately. References such as “this post” and “they” can also be difficult to follow. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain its consequence and give a concise example; use linking expressions only where they clarify that sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “active labor force,” “manufacturing,” “public infrastructure” and “job seeker.” This gives you some useful range, but the overall vocabulary is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “high paying skill or strategies,” “work hard for their backwards home,” and “the post available for one candidates” are unclear or unnatural. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “advertisment,” “comapny” and “outweight.” Aim for precise, natural phrases rather than adding formal-sounding terms: describe young adults as “a large share of the workforce,” for example, and explain the employment problem as “many applicants competing for few vacancies.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would also improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, but the range is limited and complex attempts are often faulty, so errors sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. Examples include “the population of some countries relatively large number of young adults,” which lacks a complete grammatical structure, and “The main advantages is,” where subject and verb do not agree. Verb forms are frequently incorrect, as in “they were have,” “they were play,” and “they were hiring” when describing general facts. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries also need attention; for example, “one candidates” is inconsistent, and several sentences begin with a capitalised “The” after a comma or full stop is needed. Practise accurate present-tense statements and build longer sentences from correctly formed clauses.

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