Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

IT is true that many countries today have a large number of young adults compared to number of older people .I think this is a good thing because it helps the country grow. Nowadays population of countries increases day by day.

On the one hand , young people have great energy and economy. They can work hard in offices and factories. They start new business and use new technology .They helped our family ,They support our family , They work hard for our nation and The young peoples are mature .They spend money on buying things, which helps the economy .The younger people have great energy, and innovation so they suggest best ideas to someone .In my experience when i go to my fathers office . The office was property and map housing state. There i saw many peoples the older people came here and discussing and get to solve the problem and delivered knowledge and new innovations .

On the other hand , there are some disadvantages where as in many countries there are not enough jobs , many young people will become unemployed. and too many students will compete for seats in universities and colleges . To many crowd so every young person did not get admission in universities so they waste our year. It puts pressure on housing everyone needs a place to live .In my experience one unemployed person has very tough competition to avail job or even they pressurized by their own house that what could you do ,you are unemployed , and you know that the expenses was increased day by day , bills are pending.

In my conclusion , i believe that the advantage of having more young people definitely outweigh the disadvantage

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides of the question. Relevant points include young adults contributing through work, business and spending, alongside unemployment, competition for university places and pressure on housing. However, several points are asserted rather than explained: for example, “they help the country grow” is not linked to a specific economic outcome, and the office anecdote about older people discussing problems does not clearly support the benefits of a younger population. Develop fewer points with clearer explanations and relevant examples, and make the comparison between the advantages and disadvantages more explicit. This would make the response more fully address the task rather than relying on a list of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs presenting advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers recognise the two sides. However, progression within the paragraphs is weak because several ideas are repeated or placed together without clear links, such as “They helped our family, They support our family” and the sequence about jobs, university places and housing. Some linking is mechanical, and punctuation often makes sentence boundaries unclear. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. Clearer references and transitions between ideas would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “unemployed,” “compete,” “pressure on housing,” “economy” and “innovation,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “young people,” “work hard” and “great energy.” Some combinations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “great energy and economy,” “the office was property,” and “waste our year.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to identify. Aim to use more precise collocations and vary repeated terms; for instance, explain how a youthful workforce can contribute to productivity or entrepreneurship. Check word forms and spelling as well, including “peoples,” where “people” is intended.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate the main position using mostly simple sentence patterns, and there are attempts to connect ideas with clauses, as in “which helps the economy.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. Examples include missing articles in “compared to number,” subject–verb agreement in “the advantage … outweigh,” and inconsistent tense in “They helped our family” within a general discussion. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also often faulty, as in “unemployed. and too many students” and the long run-on sequence beginning “In my experience one unemployed person.” Practise accurate sentence construction, agreement, articles and consistent present-tense forms, then use a wider range of controlled complex sentences.

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