Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some countries, the youth has become the dominant sphere of population because of the rising birth rates. The balance between death rate and birth rate in such countries is being ignored, and it has its own advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. I would like to explain it by giving the example from my own experience. I am from Pakistan, and here the number of young adults is far much more than the older people. Youth needs more jobs and resources, which means the higher the number of young adults the more resources we require. It puts strain on the economy of such undeveloped country like Pakistan. The failure leads to brain drain, by which youth of undeveloped countries leave their homeland for the better opportunities abroad. Now, some will say it benefits the country because of recession, but it is not the same thing as economic growth. The country having large number of young adults could be a labor intensive one, but at what cost if that labor does not have any work to do. It disturbs the standard of livelihood there, and people are forced to live hand to mouth in these countries. The advantages will outweigh the disadvantages only if the youth of these countries is able to have a good and balanced lifestyle. Moreover, it mostly depends on the country's government that how it plans to utilize that buldge of youth in the ways which benefits the economy and maintains balance side by side.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and the Pakistan example makes the discussion relevant. You explain several connected consequences, including pressure on jobs and resources, strain on the economy, and young people leaving for opportunities abroad. This addresses the question, but the advantages side is not really examined: the brief point that a youthful population could provide labour is immediately qualified rather than developed as a benefit. Some claims, such as the effect on living standards, would also be stronger with a specific example or clearer explanation. To develop the response further, compare both sides directly and explain why the disadvantages remain greater even when young adults are employed productively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable progression from your position to the Pakistan example and then to consequences and a concluding condition. Linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “Now” help signal movement between points. However, the ideas are presented in one continuous paragraph, so the main stages of the argument are not clearly separated. Some connections are also difficult to follow: “Now, some will say it benefits the country because of recession” does not clearly identify what “it” refers to or how recession supports the opposing view. The final sentence introduces government planning but does not fully resolve the comparison. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each side of the argument, and the conclusion, and make references and transitions more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “brain drain,” “resources,” “labor intensive,” and “standard of livelihood,” which helps communicate the economic effects you have in mind. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but some choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “dominant sphere of population,” “far much more,” and “buldge of youth.” “Benefits the country because of recession” also appears to use the wrong term for the intended economic idea. These slips do not prevent the reader from understanding your overall argument, but they reduce precision. Choose established phrases such as “a large proportion of the population,” “a much higher number,” and “youth bulge,” and check spelling and collocation carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the conditional “The advantages will outweigh the disadvantages only if…” and the clause beginning “which means…”. The main argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “the higher the number … the more resources we require” needs a more consistent construction, while “such undeveloped country” is missing an article and “the country's government that how it plans” has an incorrect clause pattern. There are also agreement and number issues in “the ways which benefits.” To improve, practise article use, subject–verb agreement, and indirect-question structures, and proofread longer sentences by checking that each clause has a clear, correctly formed subject and verb.

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