Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The population in a country can include both younger and older adults but fewer countries around the globe has high proportion of young adults than the old age people.In my opinion having younger people as part of your community is much more advantageous than the older people.

Firstly, I think young people are more compassionate ones than the old aged people because they have the curiosity to learn about new things that are happening all over the world whereas old people have gained an experience of their life and are much more relied on their self-learned lessons.For example, new generation wants to know about the modrnization happening in the world whether it is related to technology or the advancement in the living standards of life, they want to learn about it and contribute more into the betterment of society.

Additionally, If we talk about heath perspective the young generations to me seems more healthy and active than the older generation which is why they can participate and contribute more into the wellness of society. for example, the people lying at the age group of 45-60 years tend to have more health issues and get tired even after pefroming a simple household chore task whereas the adults from 18-30 years are much more active and can perform multiple tasks together.

At last, If we talk about older generation as part of society, it is also important because they can be a source to restore the lost traditions and cultural values of a society but to me new generation is much more valuable aspect of the society.

In conclusion, the younger adults are proven to be important resource for a society than the geriatic population for a country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe a larger young-adult population brings more advantages, and you address both generations by discussing learning, health and the preservation of traditions. The examples about younger adults learning about technology and being more active help make your reasons relevant. However, the comparison that young people are “more compassionate” is not clearly explained, and the health argument relies on broad age-based claims rather than showing how a youthful population benefits a country overall. You briefly acknowledge older people’s cultural contribution, but do not weigh this disadvantage against your main reasons. Develop the effects on society—for example, employment, innovation or pressure on services—and explain why these outweigh the costs to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two main supporting paragraphs, a concession about older people and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Additionally” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. However, the repeated “If we talk about…” framing and the final “At last” paragraph make the organisation somewhat mechanical. Some links between claims and their implications are also missing: the discussion of health, for instance, does not clearly connect individual activity to wider social advantages. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as in “they can be a source,” where the reader must infer that “they” means older people. Use more varied transitions and make each paragraph’s central point and its connection to your position explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “curiosity,” “contribute,” “living standards,” “wellness” and “cultural values,” which helps communicate your ideas. There are also attempts at more formal expressions, such as “restore the lost traditions.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “old aged people,” “relied on their self-learned lessons,” “contribute more into” and “valuable aspect.” Spelling errors such as “modrnization,” “heath,” “pefroming” and “geriatic” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main argument, but they limit precision and fluency. Focus on natural collocations and proofread spelling; for example, use “older people,” “draw on their life experience” and “contribute to society.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “whereas” and a reason clause beginning “which is why.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation. For example, “fewer countries … has” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the young generations … seems” also needs agreement. The opening runs two sentences together, and several sentences begin with a lowercase letter after a full stop. There are also awkward grammatical patterns in phrases such as “the people lying at the age group.” Review agreement and sentence boundaries, and practise building complex sentences that remain controlled.

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