Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many regions has a larger number of youths than senior citizens. It has several benefits with a number of drawbacks. This essay will examine both circumtances before reaching a conclusion.

The primary reason of many countries having more young citizens than olders is the growing birth rate . The population has grown significantly over last few decades because of the the devolopment of medical sectors which improved fertility rate in women. For instance, the number of youngs is 3 times more than senior citizens in Netherlands. There were fewer senior citizens left to guide the adults toward a better life and for many vital government roles. Consequently, they had to hire elderly people for some specialized posts which is only suitable for elders because of their maturity and knowledge such as judge, preist, any many other from other regions.

However, there are several advantages of having fewer elders than youngs in many regions as well. Millenials and previous generations do not raise their voice against racism, corruption and other crimes. Younger people of this generation are more aware of those circumtance and raise their voice against anything wrong. For instance, Younger generations has raised their voice against corruption in Nepal which was previously demotivated by elders in their country. The senior citizens thought raising their voice against power holders would bring disaster in their life which is totally opposite of newer generation`s thoughts. Consequently, the government of nepal has changed due to protest by youths and now they are havinf a better quality of life.

In conclusion, despite having several issues I strongly believe that the advantages of having more youths than elderly people in some regions outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear answer to the question in the conclusion, stating that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you discuss both sides. The examples about young people challenging corruption in Nepal and older people’s experience in specialist roles are relevant to the topic. However, the response only partly develops the comparison: the disadvantages paragraph focuses on a shortage of experienced older people, while the advantages paragraph mainly discusses activism. Explain more directly how these effects influence society and why the benefits are more significant overall. The claim that young people outnumber older people three to one in the Netherlands is also presented without context or support, and the opening does not yet establish a clear position. More precise, developed reasoning would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Consequently,” and “However” help signal examples and contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. In the first body paragraph, the discussion moves from birth rates and medical development to the need for elderly specialists without clearly explaining the connection. The opening says the essay will examine both sides, but the position is not made clear until the conclusion. Some references, such as “they” in the discussion of government roles, are also unclear. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, and connect each example explicitly to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “senior citizens,” “fertility rate,” “specialized posts,” “corruption,” and “quality of life.” This gives you a workable range for discussing age groups and social effects. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “the primary reason of,” “the number of youngs,” and “raise their voice against anything wrong.” Spelling errors, including “circumtances,” “devolopment,” “preist,” and “havinf,” are noticeable and reduce the overall control of vocabulary. Some expressions are also too broad, such as “many vital government roles.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully; this will help your ideas come across more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “which improved fertility rate in women” and a result clause beginning “Consequently.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors occur across sentence structures and often make the writing less clear. For example, “many regions has” has subject–verb disagreement, while “Younger generations has raised” repeats this problem. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention: “over last few decades” lacks an article, and the space before the full stop in “birth rate .” is incorrect. Some longer sentences, particularly the one about hiring elderly people for specialist posts, are difficult to control. Practise checking agreement, articles, and punctuation, and divide complex ideas into clear sentences.

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