Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The aspect that the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people is beneficial in some sense but it has disadvantages as well.

Let's have a look on benefits of having more ratio of young population. More young population means more active man-power is available for doing work in a country. The more working capability means that country is more likely to make development.

For example, in Japan, there is more ageing population than the young counterpart because they have birth control system in-effect and good average life expectancy. Due to relatively aged population, Japan needs more young work force.

On the other hand, if a country has higher young population, it depicts that they have not a great health system which is causing the lower life expectancy.

Take example of Pakistan. The population of Pakistan is younger than other countries. At the same time, we can see average life expectancy in Pakistan is 45-60 years which is below than many countries in the world.

The implication, which i earlier stated, completely aligns with the health system condition in Pakistan. The government hospitals in Pakistan are in really bad condition. Government has stopped free medications. The doctors do not properly pay attention to the patients. The only way to get proper treatment in these hospitals is through reference in hospital.

Having young population has both advantages and disadvantages. But i guess improving health system is more needed for any country becase one day everyone has to come to this stage and no one wishes to die before he fulfill all his dreams.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic by identifying a possible economic benefit of a large young population and discussing health-related disadvantages, and your final sentence signals concern about improving healthcare. However, the response does not clearly answer the key question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the opening says there are benefits and drawbacks, while the conclusion shifts to healthcare without making a direct comparison. The claim that a younger population indicates a poor health system is also not sufficiently explained, and the Pakistan example focuses on healthcare conditions rather than showing how these affect the balance of advantages and disadvantages. Develop both sides with relevant support, then state and maintain a clear judgement. The response meets the required length; 20 words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: it introduces the issue, presents a benefit, turns to a disadvantage, and ends with a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “On the other hand” helps readers follow the shift. However, progression is limited because the paragraphs do not build a sustained comparison, and the conclusion does not clearly resolve the question raised in the introduction. Some links are mechanical or unclear, particularly “The implication, which i earlier stated, completely aligns with the health system condition in Pakistan,” where the reference to the earlier point is difficult to follow. Organise the body into clearly focused paragraphs, connect each example directly to its main claim, and use referencing and transitions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “life expectancy,” “health system,” “working capability,” and “young work force.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural, which sometimes makes the argument harder to understand. For example, “more ratio of young population,” “active man-power,” and “good average life expectancy” are not natural expressions in this context. There are also spelling and form issues, such as “becase” and “work force.” Aim for more precise demographic and economic vocabulary, and check common word partnerships. For instance, use “a higher proportion of young people,” “available workforce,” and “high life expectancy.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including the conditional structure “if a country has higher young population” and the relative clause “The implication, which i earlier stated…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include missing articles in “a higher young population” and “through reference in hospital,” inconsistent capitalisation of “i,” and the awkwardly constructed opening sentence, which makes the relationship between the population pattern and the evaluation difficult to follow. Some sentence patterns also lack clear grammatical control. Practise accurate article use, sentence boundaries, and clause construction, then proofread for capitalisation and punctuation while varying sentence forms.

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