Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, in several countries the population of young adults are higer in contrased to older individuals.However, I strongly believe that the large number of population of adults are advantages outweight the disadvantages.According to my perspective, young individuals are very crucial for country's economy.

One of the primary reasons, why young adults are advantagious because they are more advance as well as more educated than older individual.They are physicaly fit and hav a higher strength for work.For instance, the new gernation use modren tecnology to solve difficult tasks while adult individuals donot know the latest tecnology.Moreover, they are physicaly unhealthy and they donot do hard jobs.Another main reason is that, due to their health problems they put burden on medical facilities and a lot of governement fund is spend on pentions that can affect the economy of the country.

One the other hand some, several people disagree with this perspective because they beleve that older individuals are backbone of families.They can teach the new gerantion a lot of thing that are very beneficial for their pactical life.For instance, they can motivate us by tell their own stories like what kind of hardships they face.They can also teach good maners and also give a lot of advices to the childrens.Consequently that can amk a good and peacefull socity.

In conslusion,both views have their own merits.However, having taken everything in account.I firmly believe that the advantages of this situation out weight the disadvantages becasue older individuals put burdan on county economy while, young adults are work earn money that is very beneficial for country economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: the opening says you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the conclusion repeats this position. The points about young adults contributing to the economy and older people offering family guidance are relevant. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained. For example, you say young people are more educated and technologically capable, but do not show clearly how this translates into broader economic benefits. The claim that older people burden medical services and pension budgets is also generalised and needs qualification or an example. Develop these points with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning and support them with a specific illustration to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting the advantages, a paragraph presenting a counterargument, and a conclusion. This gives the reader an overall route through your ideas. You also use signposts such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion.” However, some links are mechanical or awkward, including “One of the primary reasons, why” and “One the other hand some, several people.” The relationship between sentences is not always clear, and the conclusion’s contrast between pension costs and young workers is compressed. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then connect examples explicitly to that point. Check punctuation around linking phrases and avoid combining several transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economy,” “medical facilities,” “hardships,” and “motivate,” and the reader can generally identify your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, such as “higer,” “advantagious,” “gernation,” and “burdan.” Some combinations are also unnatural, for example “large number of population” and “put burden on medical facilities.” Aim to learn accurate topic-related phrases and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise expressions such as “a larger proportion of young adults,” “place pressure on healthcare services,” and “contribute to economic growth,” rather than repeating broad terms such as “good” or “beneficial.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a contrast introduced by “while.” The main ideas are usually understandable, but errors in sentence structure and agreement recur. For example, “the population of young adults are” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the large number of population of adults are advantages outweight” does not form a clear grammatical clause. Some sentences also run together without appropriate punctuation, as in the opening. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check articles, plurals, and verb forms, and separate complete sentences with full stops; this will make your meaning easier to follow.

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