Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recently, in some nations, while considering the density of people, the number of younger generations are considerably more in proportion to the count of elderly. Younger generation rise contributes dramatically to the societal growth in comparison with the aged population, I believe the pros still outweighs the cons.

The rise in young adult population has influenced a lot in the economic growth especially in the major sectors like IT, business, healthcare etc. Most of the companies tend to hire younger people, because they believe that they have less stress compared to older adults, more accurate, better thinking ability. As an example, when you look at the migration system, most points for age falls under the 30 year age group. Once you are above 30, the point that you gain towards age decreases by 5. This clearly shows that even considering the immigration, every nation is looking at young aged individuals. As a result, the number of younger people in some some countries increases where they have more immigrants coming in. Also, most enterprenurs are younger adults, with new ideas, starting new start-up firms, providing more job opportunities. This helps in more developments and economical surplus.

On the other hand, older adults are the backbone of the society. They are the ones who helped in molding this society. While considering the newer generation, the older adults has more experience and knowledge. They have witnessed the changes and can handle any kind of difficulties that come across. But while considering the risk taking behaviour or to try out new technologies, younger population will come forward compared to the others. Apart from that, as one ages the so called health issues contribute to less productivity. Also, when the older generation retires, there should be new graduates ready to take over the job and continue with the growth of nation.

In conclusion, both younger and older generation contributes to the overall development of a nation. But for the advancements, more and more younger minds are needed, but at the same time not ignoring the ones who has contributed significantly to the growth of society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks, and you address both sides before concluding. The discussion of employment, entrepreneurship and economic growth is relevant, while your recognition of older people’s experience shows awareness of the counterargument. The immigration-points example also attempts to support your reasoning. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim that younger workers are “more accurate” and have “better thinking ability” needs qualification or evidence, and the disadvantages of an ageing population are not explored in much depth. To strengthen the response further, explain more precisely how the benefits compare with the costs and develop the older generation’s contribution before reaching your judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph focused mainly on benefits, a contrasting paragraph about older adults, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven. The first body paragraph moves from hiring practices to immigration points and then entrepreneurship without always making the links between these examples explicit. Some connections are also mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Also” and “As a result.” Referencing can be unclear, as in “the others,” which does not specify the group being compared. Group related points more tightly and use clearer links to show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “migration system,” “entrepreneurs,” “job opportunities,” and “productivity.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and phrases such as “backbone of the society” show an attempt to use more expressive language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “density of people,” “younger generation rise,” “economical surplus,” and “new start-up firms.” There are also spelling errors such as “enterprenurs,” alongside repetition of broad terms such as “growth” and “younger.” Aim for more precise, natural combinations—for example, “a larger proportion of young adults” and “economic benefits”—and check spelling carefully. This would make your vocabulary more flexible and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “while considering” and a conditional structure in “Once you are above 30.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some errors in agreement, articles and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “the number … are” should be “the number … is,” and “the older adults has” should be “older adults have.” In the conclusion, “both younger and older generation contributes” needs plural agreement, while “the ones who has contributed” also has an agreement error. The opening sentence is difficult to follow because its clause structure is awkward. Review subject–verb agreement and practise building clear complex sentences; careful editing would help you retain your range while improving control.

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