Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Over the past few decades, the number of young people has grown considerably in many countries compared to their senior citizens. Although this transformation has some drawbacks, I believe its advantages are far more significant.

On the one hand, one serious downside is that there would be more fierce competition in the job markets. This is mainly because most of youth is freshly graduate who wants jobs to establish their careers.

A good illustration of this is that many graduates these days are working as labourers due to lack of jobs in their countries. Another major negative aspect is that there would be less experienced people in the society to guide the young ones based on their expriences at the workplace.

On the other hand, a major advantage is that governments can spend less budget in the medical sector. This is largely because the adolescents are healthy and energetic who do not need any special subsidies on their regular treatments. For instance, a country who do not have many older people can minimise its budget from health sector and spend it in the education sector. Furthermore, youth can bring money into the country by doing remote work for high-paying organisations with the help of modern teachnology that ultimately enhance the country's economy. Taken together, these are the advantages that outweigh the disadvantages described above.

In conclusion, while older people serve the country based on their experiences, I believe higher population of young individuals benefits the country by decreasing spending on health and increasing economy of the country. So I assert that young people are more advantageous to the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the advantages of a relatively young population outweigh its drawbacks, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both sides with relevant points, including job competition and a shortage of experienced mentors as disadvantages, and lower healthcare spending and economic contributions as advantages. This meets the task well, while showing some of the fuller development expected at the next level. However, several claims need more explanation or qualification. For example, the link between a young population and reduced medical spending is asserted broadly, and the remote-work point would be stronger with a specific example of how it benefits the national economy. Develop these ideas with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers understand how the argument is organised. This is a strong feature of the response. To make the cohesion more flexible and natural, reduce reliance on formulaic transitions and connect some ideas more explicitly. For instance, the move from lower healthcare spending to remote work introduces a second advantage, but the relationship between these points is not explained. Some references, such as “these are the advantages,” are also broad; naming the specific benefits would make the links between sentences more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss population and employment, including “job markets,” “experienced people,” “medical sector,” and “high-paying organisations.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and phrases such as “establish their careers” and “bring money into the country” show attempts to express more specific meanings. However, some less common or topic-related expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, including “more fierce competition,” “most of youth,” and “spend less budget.” There are also spelling errors in “expriences” and “teachnology.” Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this would make your vocabulary more precise without changing the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although this transformation has some drawbacks” and a relative clause in “organisations with the help of modern technology that ultimately enhance…” The overall meaning remains clear, and the paragraphing gives you opportunities to vary sentence structures. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “most of youth is freshly graduate who wants jobs” has problems with articles, number, and agreement; “a country who do not have” also has incorrect agreement and relative-pronoun use. In “the adolescents are healthy and energetic who do not need,” the clause structure is awkward. Review subject–verb agreement and how relative clauses attach to nouns, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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