Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

When it comes to the issue of population having more number of young than the older, a significsnt number of inhabitants stand with different kinds of views. whilw a good number of individuals tend to take this issue as rosy, others seems hold the opposite trend. However I am going to outline both side of this issue prior to given a reasoned conclution.

On the one hand, a hreat number of merits come from theis affair in many ways. this first and foremost point is that having more adults can play a crutial role in the economy. To cite an example, adults can work more than older and they can generate new and technological strategy that can help to grew a new filed of business. Another worth mentioning point is that young people now leads the world, having young peoples means the country dosenot have to this about the future residence of them. To give an example that, there are many country that are very tensed about their future recidence, because they have more older people. Those are unable to produce children. So this is a very concerning matter of world wide. Last but not the lest young is the tresure for a countries technology, they servers the most advance technology to their contry.

However, it also seems to be more likely to come up with a couple of drawbacks. To begin with losting culture, youngs are so addicted to adopting new culture. So, having more adults can be a threat for the culture of the country. For example, The culture of Bangladesh is changing a lot day by day because youngs from here adopting and introducing new culture to others, a new culture is thursday nightouting. Bamgladesh is not the origin of this culture, youngs make the trend here. Another most striking point is pollution. Youngs does not aware about the pollution done by them. For example, Cox's bazar is the most important tourist spot, but now its more poluted than past becaused over populated for youngs.

To sum up, having illustrated both sides of this affair, I wound like to sate my point that I strongly aggree with this statement as it comes up with a good number of merits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and make your position clear in the conclusion: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The economic contribution of young adults and the concern about an ageing population are relevant points, while cultural change and pollution provide counterarguments. However, some ideas are less fully explained than others. For instance, the claim that young people generate new business strategies is not supported with a specific example, and the link between a youthful population and future residents is difficult to follow. The Bangladesh and Cox’s Bazar examples help make the drawbacks more concrete, but the pollution example needs a clearer explanation of how the age structure causes the problem. Develop each point with a direct link to the question and a more precise supporting detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding position. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “However,” and “To sum up” helps readers follow the main stages, and the examples are generally placed beside the points they illustrate. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and also shows some stronger control through paragraphing and progression. To make the flow more consistently clear, reduce formulaic transitions such as “Another worth mentioning point” and ensure each sentence connects logically to the one before it. For example, the shift from economic contribution to “future residence” is abrupt, and the final pollution example does not clearly connect population age with pollution. Use clearer references and transitions to show those links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary suited to an argumentative essay, including “crucial role,” “drawbacks,” “pollution,” and “concerning matter.” However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “young,” “older,” and “point,” while several inaccurate or misspelled choices make meaning harder to understand. Examples include “a significsnt number,” “a hreat number of merits,” “thursday nightouting,” and “tresure.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “young people now leads the world” and “the most advance technology.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than more elaborate wording: for example, describe “young adults” as contributing to the workforce or driving innovation. Careful proofreading of spelling and word forms would make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “that.” This gives the response some structural variety, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “others seems hold the opposite trend” has problems with subject–verb agreement and verb construction, while “Youngs does not aware” lacks an appropriate verb form. There are also issues with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “there are many country” and “To give an example that, there are…”. Work on forming complete clauses, matching verbs to their subjects, and punctuating introductory phrases. More accurate control of these patterns will help your complex sentences communicate the intended meaning.

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