Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays, the ratio of young men is more than older men in comparison in a few countries of the world. Youth is the real strength of notion or country for progress in every field of life. In ths essay, i will discuss the ratio and banifits of youth.

On the one hand, a few counties have have more houng individuals than older people as, in there countries can lead some diseases to aged people such as, depration, anxitey, diabeties

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response introduces the topic and gives a general positive view of young people, calling youth “the real strength” of a country. However, it does not answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: there is no clear comparison, developed position, or relevant supporting example. The discussion begins to mention possible effects on older people, but the point is incomplete and does not explain how it relates to the question. The response is also substantially below the required minimum length, leaving most of the task unaddressed. To improve, state your position directly, explain at least one advantage and one disadvantage, compare their importance, and support each point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening paragraph introduces the topic, and “On the one hand” signals the start of a body paragraph. This gives the reader some indication of structure. However, the response ends before the argument develops, so there is no clear progression from a point to its explanation or evidence, and no contrasting side or conclusion. The phrase “On the one hand” also promises a corresponding “on the other hand” that never appears. Build complete paragraphs around one main idea each, use linking expressions to show relationships between ideas, and finish with a conclusion that restates your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “population,” “older people,” “progress,” and “diseases,” and “the real strength” conveys a positive view of young people. However, the range is narrow and several spelling errors make key ideas harder to understand, such as “ths,” “banifits,” “houng,” “depration,” “anxitey,” and “diabeties.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, including “ratio of young men is more than older men in comparison” and “ratio and benefits of youth.” Use accurate, task-specific phrases such as “a higher proportion of young adults” and “the advantages of a youthful population,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help communicate the argument clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to use more than simple statements, including “In this essay, I will discuss…” and the unfinished clause beginning “as, in there countries…”. However, the range is very limited, and the longer construction is not grammatically complete. There are also errors in sentence formation and punctuation: “On the one hand, a few counties have have more…” repeats the verb, while the opening sentence lacks a clear comparison structure. Capitalisation is inconsistent, as in “i,” and commas interrupt the sentence awkwardly. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use simple linking clauses accurately before attempting longer structures. Proofreading for repeated words and sentence boundaries will also improve control.

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