Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In todays era, population wise some countries has higher proportion of younger adults than that of older citizens.According to me it have advantages but those doesnot overweigh its disadvantages.

According to me the disadvantages are those countries would be: firstly they are lossing there cultural side more rapidly as new generation gets motivated and want to follow new treanding things of differnet cultures due to social meida without thinking if it aline with there cultural values of not just like everyone started wearing europen clothes (jeans,shirts).

Secondly, new generation doesnot have older family member around them so they would not be know how to give respect to them, how to talk to them, etc. With time this all will result in a nation which doesnot have felling of brotherhood, a respectful relationship,etc.

Thirdly, the adults won't be knowing about there origne and there roots (most of people dont even know right now). As adults don't like to consume content from books and they dont have relation with there older ones so they don't know about the sacrifises, what difficulty they faced when natural disasters came(flood, earthquack, etc), how much hard work they did, In what curcumstances they left there village and many more I know all of these sort of things because my grand father use to tell all his life experiences whenever i visit there home.

So at end in my opinion if ratio wise there are less number of older citizens then it will have more disadvantages as compared to advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe the disadvantages of having fewer older people outweigh the advantages, and you give relevant reasons concerning cultural continuity, respect between generations, and knowledge of family history. The example of your grandfather sharing his experiences makes the final point more personal and persuasive. However, the response focuses almost entirely on disadvantages, so the advantages side of the comparison is not meaningfully explored. Some claims also need fuller explanation: for example, explain how a younger population might affect cultural practices or social relationships, rather than assuming these outcomes will follow. Developing both sides and making the comparison explicit would make the argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an opening position, a sequence of supporting points, and a concluding statement that returns to your view. The signposts “firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Thirdly” help readers follow the list of disadvantages. However, the body reads more like a series of points than a developed argument, and the links between ideas are sometimes unclear. For instance, the move from cultural change to respect for older people is abrupt, while the final example about your grandfather could be more clearly connected to the claim about preserving history. Use separate, focused paragraphs and add linking explanations that show how each example supports your position; avoid relying mainly on numbered transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “cultural values,” “older citizens,” “natural disasters,” and “family experiences,” which helps communicate your concerns. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “a respectful relationship” and “brotherhood.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural word combinations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “treanding things,” “social meida,” “origne,” and “ratio wise.” Some expressions are also vague, such as “all of these sort of things.” Build a more accurate range of vocabulary for discussing demographic change, cultural transmission, and intergenerational relationships, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “As adults don’t like to consume content from books…” and a relative clause in “whenever I visit there home.” This shows an effort to connect reasons and examples. However, some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “some countries has” should use a plural verb, and “it have advantages” needs a matching subject and verb. The opening also runs several sentences together without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate complex sentences, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and separating complete ideas with appropriate punctuation.

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