Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In modern world, some countries population consist of more young adults than older people. I reckon that the advantages outweigh the disadvangates of this situation since younger people bring fresh perspectives and are often more inovative.

To begin with, a lot of older people have a mentality that might target and discriminate specific groups of people. For example, a lot of my friends grandparents still have some homophobic or racist views, which is not acceptable at all. My friends have found it quite impossible to make them reflect on their values and reevaluate them. Other than that, i believe that adults are persisting todays standarts that are built on capitalism or even sexism that have been encouraged by older generations.

On the other hand, having a larger population of younger adults may increase the competition in different fields of work or studies. From my perspective, since younger adults tend to be more ambitious and have clear goals, they do everything in their power to achieve them, hence they constantly raise the bar for even the future generations. In addition, youngsters need to learn on older peoples mistakes and even have talks with them to shape a better future for both themsevles,the generation before and after them. Another thing is that older people are more experienced and sometimes a lot wiser in different fields. I believe that they have gone through a lot of stuff in their lives, even wars, fought in them or have someone they love fight for their country. I do believe that it is important to hear them out, listen to their stories and show gratitude towards what they offered.

In conclusion, even though older generation is more experienced and acquires more knowledge on certain stuff while younger people create more compatition in general, i think the disadvantages outweigh the benefits of the countries including a larger number of youngsters

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position in the introduction and conclusion, and you offer relevant points about younger adults’ innovation and ambition, as well as older people’s experience. However, the response does not consistently answer the central comparison. The body paragraph beginning “To begin with” focuses on older people’s prejudiced views, rather than clearly explaining the disadvantages of a youthful population; the next paragraph then presents several benefits of having younger adults. This makes the argument difficult to follow, and the conclusion says the disadvantages outweigh the benefits despite the introduction claiming the opposite. Develop a small number of directly relevant points, explain their effects, and maintain one clear position throughout to make the response more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help show paragraph roles. However, the progression between ideas is often unclear. The first body paragraph discusses older people’s attitudes, while the second lists competition, ambition, learning from older people and their life experience without a clear organising focus. “On the other hand” also introduces benefits rather than a contrasting disadvantage, and the conclusion reverses the position stated at the start. Some linking phrases therefore do not accurately express the relationship between ideas. Group related points, use topic sentences that directly support your argument, and check that each transition and the conclusion match your intended position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary to discuss social issues, including “fresh perspectives,” “discriminate,” “ambitious,” “competition” and “experienced.” These choices make the main subject understandable, and you attempt some more specific expressions such as “raise the bar.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “disadvangates,” “inovative,” “standarts” and “compatition.” Some phrases are also imprecise or informal for this essay, such as “a lot of stuff” and “do everything in their power.” Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations, particularly when describing social trends and their effects. This would make your vocabulary more controlled and appropriate to an academic argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “since,” “which” and “even though,” and most of the intended meaning can be understood. However, errors in sentence structure and grammatical forms recur. For example, “some countries population consist” lacks the possessive form and has subject–verb disagreement; “younger people create more compatition” also has an agreement error. The final sentence is difficult to interpret because its comparison and clause structure are unclear. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including lowercase “i” and a comma splice in “themselves,the generation.” Review possessives, agreement, sentence boundaries and punctuation, then proofread each sentence to ensure its grammatical relationships are clear.

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