Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, the population of many countries consist of larger percentage of young adults than old people. While some people argue that is a positive situation, others believe it is a negative development. In this essay, I will examine why the benefits of this situation outweigh the drawbacks.

Firstly, governments are able to generate significant amount of tax revenue. This is because of large number of young indviduals are working and they all pay taxes on their income. Consequently, this may make the job market very competitive for young individuals to get employment. However, with the increased in tax revenue, the government can invest in new projects. For instance, infrastructure projects require new hiring and that gives employment opportunities to the general populace. Although large population of young adults can make it difficult for them to get employment; however, this problem can be tackled by investing in new infrastructure and social projects funded by the government.

Another key advantage of this situation is that young people are often healthy and less prone to diseases. This reduces the financial pressure on public healthcare system to support ill people. Governments can allocate that public fund into researching of new drugs.

In conclusion, while there are few disadvantages of having relatively larger number of young adults than old people, I strongly believe the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you give relevant reasons about tax revenue, employment and healthcare. However, the response addresses the task only partially because the disadvantages are not explored as a distinct, developed point; job-market competition is mentioned, but the discussion quickly turns back to government investment. The healthcare benefit is also asserted rather than supported with a specific explanation or example. The response contains 218 words, below the required 250; the eight words copied from the task prompt are not counted. To strengthen the response, develop both sides more fully and add a relevant example showing how a younger population benefits a country or what challenges it creates.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main points generally follow a sensible order. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Another key advantage” and “In conclusion” help signal the progression. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the first body paragraph contains a confusing turn: “However” introduces competition, followed by a return to the benefits of tax-funded projects. The sentence beginning “Although” also repeats the contrast with “however,” making the relationship between ideas less smooth. The healthcare paragraph is brief and its final claim about drug research is not clearly connected to the preceding point. Use clearer transitions and explain how each supporting detail follows from the main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “tax revenue,” “job market,” “infrastructure projects,” “employment opportunities” and “public healthcare system.” These choices make the subject clear, and some phrases show an attempt to be precise. However, there are several inaccurate or awkward word choices and collocations, such as “larger percentage,” “new hiring,” “increased in tax revenue” and “researching of new drugs.” The spelling error “indviduals” also reduces accuracy. These issues do not prevent understanding, but they limit the naturalness and precision of the writing. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling; for example, use “a higher proportion,” “create jobs” and “fund research into new medicines.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure (“Although…”) and a relative clause (“projects require new hiring and that gives…”). Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the population… consist” needs subject–verb agreement, while “a large number of young individuals are working” requires an article before “large.” The sentence “Although…; however” combines two contrasting structures incorrectly, and “Governments can allocate that public fund” has an unclear reference and number agreement. There is also a missing article in “on public healthcare system.” Review agreement, articles and sentence boundaries, then proofread complex sentences to ensure that their clauses are connected correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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