Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

At the present time, the number of people in some countries include large number of young adults as compared with the number of older people. Both plays a crucial roles in our society. Although it has some disadvantages but i believe that advantages outweight disadvantages.

On the one hand, large number of young adults help the goverment to boost economy. People work hard to earn and from its salary a dedicated amount transfered in to goverment account in the form of tax.Young people motivate the goverments to take new step for better life style. For example, in pakistan there was atlest 75% young adults which help goverment to boost economy by doing jobs. Young people start their businees and export things like meat, rice to other countries to strong the economy.The other rason is young people focus in innovation to make work easy . In many countries people use electric cycle because it is easy to buy . For innovation you need different thinking to find solution.

The disadvanteges of young peoples is less job . Countries with high young population has less jobs as compared to other countries. There are like thousand people gradute from univerties evey year in contrast the number of jobs remaine same which result young people to survove jobless.For instance Under developing countries young people go abroad to earn money because there own country has not job. People survived in other countries just to earn money so they survive their family.

In conclusion, there has some disadvantages like less jobes whereas advantages outweight the disadvantages by boosting economy and innvating new things to help goverment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of a large young-adult population outweigh the drawbacks. You address both sides, identifying economic contribution, innovation and unemployment, and you give examples such as young people exporting goods and graduates struggling to find work. These points are relevant to the question. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others: the link between young workers and economic growth is outlined, while the claim that young people encourage governments to improve lifestyles and the example of electric bicycles are less clearly connected to the argument. Develop each point with a clearer explanation and make the comparison between the overall benefits and costs more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your view. This gives the reader an overall route through the argument. You also use signposts such as “On the one hand,” “For example,” and “In conclusion.” However, some links feel mechanical or unclear, and ideas within the advantages paragraph move quickly from taxation to government action, exports and innovation. The phrase “The other reason” does not clearly identify which point it introduces, while “whereas” in the conclusion does not establish a precise contrast. Organise each paragraph around one main idea and use clearer references and transitions to show how examples support it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “boost economy,” “tax,” “innovation,” “graduates,” and “jobless,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less precise. For example, “a dedicated amount transferred into government account” is an awkward way to describe tax contributions, and “to strong the economy” does not express the intended meaning naturally. Spelling errors such as “goverment,” “disadvanteges,” and “innvating” are also noticeable. Build a bank of accurate phrases for employment, public revenue and economic growth, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrastive opening with “Although” and a relative clause in “which result young people to survive jobless.” The overall meaning can usually be followed, but there are some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms. For example, “Both plays a crucial roles” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “the number of people … include” does not agree grammatically. The opening also combines “Although” with “but” unnecessarily. In the sentence about graduates, the clause beginning “which result” is not formed correctly. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, and use complex clauses only when their grammatical links are secure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.