Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

today the world in more in population and more in advancement. the world population are increasing two times than year. in the today's population the number of young adults are more than older people and childern. the young youth are more confident, more advance and highly skilled than the the older people. this is the advantage because the young people make technology more advance so that the world grow fast.

but there are some issues about the young people. the young people are hardworking but they are not mature enough to take the decision more accurately. they all are depend on some older peoples for their accurate decisions. the young people are short tempared, angry and sensitive than the older people of the wolrd. these things make the young people in the catagory of disadvantage. in contrast to older one, they are more emotionally strong, more mature then young ones. the country which have high number of younge people are more develped country than the country with the high number of older one. but if we compare the crime ratio there is increase in the country of high number of younge peoples. the country where the equallity of the young and older , those country groq more and have love crime ratio.

somehow the young people are the advantage for every country but it doesnt mean the older people are disadvantage for that country. young people make the country more developed and make new things that straight up the country repuatations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic by discussing possible benefits of a younger population, such as technological progress and development, and disadvantages such as immaturity and crime. However, the response only partly answers the key question: it does not clearly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The final claim that young people are an advantage is not supported by a direct comparison, and the point about countries with a balanced age profile is introduced without being connected to your overall judgement. Ideas such as young adults driving innovation are relevant, but need explanation or a specific example. To strengthen the response, state your position clearly in the introduction and conclusion, then develop two or three reasons that directly support that comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response first presents benefits, then turns to concerns, and ends with a concluding comment. Basic linking expressions such as “but,” “in contrast,” and “somehow” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is not consistently clear. The discussion moves from maturity to crime rates and then to countries with equal numbers of young and older people without explaining how these points relate to the main comparison. Several ideas are crowded into one paragraph, while the final paragraph repeats the claim about development rather than resolving the argument. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, and make each paragraph’s main point explicit. More precise referencing and fewer repetitive transitions would also help readers follow your reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a limited but relevant set of topic words, including “technology,” “skilled,” “mature,” “crime ratio,” and “developed.” These allow the reader to identify your main ideas, but vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise, and noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make meaning harder to follow. For example, “young youth” repeats the same idea, while “straight up the country reputations” does not express the intended meaning naturally. Several forms are misspelled, including “childern,” “tempared,” and “develped.” Build a more accurate range for discussing population and society, and check spelling carefully. Choosing precise collocations will make your argument clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with a few attempts to connect clauses using “because,” “but,” and “if.” These attempts show some awareness of more complex sentence forms, but they are often inaccurate. Errors in subject–verb agreement and sentence construction occur frequently, as in “the world population are increasing” and “the country which have high number.” Articles, plurals, and verb forms are also inconsistent, for example in “they all are depend” and “the country where the equallity of the young and older.” These patterns sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to understand. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “while.” Check agreement and verb forms in every sentence.

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