Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, the greater number of adults in a country were growing as compared to elderly people. Although the elder people are quite significant for the a soceity, i think the advantages of more adults in a country outweigh the distadvantages because younger citizens are proven asset for future growth.

The primary reason, why the massive number of younger in a country is necessary because they are considered a future asset for country's growth. In future, we need more young professionals including IT expert, Engineer, Doctor to contribute in a society rather than elderly people. As an illustration, young individuals can easily work in extreme conditions like pandemic, flooding and uncertain conditions during storms. For instance, Japan is facing a shortage of young adults nowadays, encourages international citizen to come and worked over here. As a result, society will more developed after the increasing number of young professional.

However, Opponent argue that decreasing number of elderly people leads to few disadvantages. Firstlly, Older people are usually experienced over the 70-80 years in their life ,so they are better counsellor for other people. Lots of individual are trapped in probelms like managing expenses, behavioural attitude in a society and employment stability. Therefore, experienced elder people can suggest better and healthy soultion to tackle the problems. Moreover, few older people are quite valuable for engineering sector and hospitals. Senior engineer and expert surgeon usually have a decade of experience in their fileds, so they can be very productive for the country growth.

In conclusion, although Elderly citizens are paramount importance for such activities like counselling and guidence for all the people. While major portion of young professional help us tackle numerous challenges in the long run, consider a asset for a country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe a larger young-adult population brings more advantages, especially through its contribution to future economic growth. You address both sides by discussing young workers and the experience older people offer in counselling, engineering and healthcare. The Japan example also helps make the argument more concrete. This meets the task well, but the support is uneven: the claim that young people can work in extreme conditions is not clearly connected to the broader benefits, and the disadvantages of having fewer older people are not fully weighed against the advantages. To strengthen the response further, explain the scale or consequences of each point and make the comparison explicit in the conclusion, rather than mainly restating both sides.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the main argument and counterargument, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “As an illustration,” “However,” and “Moreover” help signal the direction of ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, the move from young people working during disasters to Japan’s labour shortage needs a clearer explanation of how the examples support the same point. The conclusion begins with “although” but then shifts to “While,” leaving the relationship between the two clauses incomplete. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the claim it supports; also ensure that contrast markers introduce complete, logically balanced sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “future asset,” “shortage,” “experienced,” and “productive,” and you use terms from several fields, such as “surgeon” and “engineering sector.” This gives you some range, but inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Examples include “the massive number of younger,” “healthy soultion,” and “a asset”; “elderly people” and “older people” are also repeated frequently. Several expressions sound unnatural, such as “worked over here” and “major portion of young professional.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise phrasing would make your argument easier to follow and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the opening and sentences with “because,” “so,” and “although.” Some of these structures communicate the intended meaning, but control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction and verb forms sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “Japan … encourages international citizen to come and worked over here” has problems with agreement and the verb pattern, while the final sentence beginning “although” is not completed as a balanced sentence. There are also recurring issues with articles, plurals and punctuation, as in “a asset” and “IT expert, Engineer, Doctor.” Practise building accurate complex sentences and check each sentence for a complete main clause, consistent verb forms and correct agreement.

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