Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries, the proportion of young people surpassed the number of older individuals. This shift present both opportunities and challenges. The merits of this phenomenon are depends on how nation use resource then it will outweigh the demrits.

Firstly, the contribution of younger population is high in economic growth of country. Young adult often bring energy and creativity on field like in technological workplace. This can boost innovation in sectors such as IT Tech, manufacuring and education. In the future, the demand of high-tech machines will rise so, for example, Japan and China creating sectors for automobile and datacentres.

Secondly, another reason is that the young adults are moving and migrating towards major cities to maintain work-life-balance, therefore for developing regions they require healthy citizens. Furthermore, large proportion of youngster will lead government to generate a good amount of fund for the development of society, will invest in public hospital, schools and road infrastructure. Another benefit is the cultural and social impact. Young people are usually more open to new ideas and change, which can lead to progressive social movements and faster modernization in areas like education, gender equality, and environmental policies.

On the downside, education systems may struggle to accommodate growing numbers of students, and job markets could face challenges in providing employment for all. High levels of youth unemployment can lead to social unrest and increased crime rates.

In conclusion, while a younger population can drive economic and social development, careful planning is needed to manage the pressure on resources.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant overall view: a youthful population can support economic and social development, provided it is managed carefully. The points about innovation, public investment, and pressure on education and employment are pertinent. However, the response does not make the required comparison fully explicit: the opening says the advantages depend on how a nation uses its resources, while the conclusion stresses planning, but neither clearly states whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Some ideas also need fuller explanation. For example, the reference to Japan and China does not show how their examples demonstrate the benefits, and the claim that a large young population generates funds for public services is not clearly supported. State your judgement directly and develop the examples and reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two paragraphs presenting benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “On the downside” help identify the direction of the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the relationship between ideas is not always clear. In particular, the sentence about young adults migrating to cities and the need for “healthy citizens” does not clearly connect to the point that follows about government funds. The conclusion also repeats the general benefits without resolving the comparison in the question. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and organise each body paragraph around a focused point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “innovation,” “youth unemployment,” “social unrest,” and “gender equality.” These choices allow you to discuss economic and social effects, and several less common expressions are attempted. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, however, such as “the contribution of younger population is high,” “open to new ideas and change,” and “generate a good amount of fund.” Spelling errors, including “demrits” and “manufacuring,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish between a population’s potential contribution and the practical costs of supporting it.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “which,” and “therefore,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “This shift present” needs subject–verb agreement, and “The merits … are depends” combines incompatible verb forms. In “Young adult often bring,” the noun should be plural or have an article, while “how nation use resource” needs appropriate articles and agreement. The sentence beginning “Furthermore, large proportion…” also becomes structurally unclear when it reaches “will invest.” Review sentence boundaries and build complex sentences around a clear subject and main verb; this will improve accuracy without limiting your range.

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