Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Both young and old people plays crucial role in workplace. Nowadays, in some countries demanded need of young individuals insted of older people. I partly agree with this statement because it merits overlap demerits for which vindication would be elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are several advantages which have include large number of young adults. The first and foremost point is, large workforce. To explain it, some countries need youngster because they can work in any field without any problem. Moreover, not only physicaly strong but also better understanding ability. For example, in USA mostly companies hire young people in construction work because of new ideas and physicaly or mentaly strong. They also contribute to economic and increase in productivity. Therefore, less pressure on elderly people like few elderly people may mean lower spending on pension or healthcare.

On the other hand, there are numerous disadvantages. The most prominent point is, less experienced. To elaborate it, some jobs require experience and talent, so they hire older people with lot of work experience. In addition, some elder individuals have lack of knowledge or experience about work how to start or finish. For instance, in China only requid lighly exprienced individuals in teaching jobs no doubt it is good but on the other side it also increase in unemployment in younger people. However, government should provide more universities or traning center and affordable homes for youngster.

In conclusion, Although hireing younger people may benefits in companies like increase in economic development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question by discussing young workers’ contribution to the workforce and economy, then noting the value of older workers’ experience. However, the task asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your position is not clearly established: “I partly agree” does not directly answer this comparison, while the conclusion only mentions benefits and does not weigh them against the drawbacks. Several points are also under-developed. For example, the claim that young people increase productivity needs a clearer explanation or a specific example, and the China teaching example is difficult to understand. State your overall judgement clearly in the introduction and conclusion, then explain which side is stronger and why.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps readers identify the main sections. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and linking phrases sometimes feel mechanical, such as “To commence with,” “The first and foremost point,” and “On the other hand.” Some ideas are placed together without a clear connection; for instance, the point about pension and healthcare follows the productivity claim without explaining the link. The conclusion is also incomplete and does not bring the comparison together. Use fewer formulaic transitions, organise each paragraph around one main idea, and connect examples explicitly to the point they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “workforce,” “productivity,” “work experience,” and “unemployment,” and these choices show awareness of the subject. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to interpret, such as “demanded need,” “merits overlap demerits,” and “less experienced.” Spelling errors, including “insted,” “physicaly,” and “traning,” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise, natural phrases rather than translating ideas word by word. For example, describe a country as having “a high proportion of young adults,” and say that older workers “bring valuable experience.” Check spelling and word forms carefully during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some sentence variety, including a contrastive opening with “Although” and a cause-and-effect example introduced by “because.” However, the range of structures is limited, and attempts at longer sentences are often faulty. Errors include subject–verb agreement in “Both young and old people plays,” an incorrect construction in “there are several advantages which have include,” and missing or misplaced grammatical elements in “some elder individuals have lack of knowledge.” The final sentence beginning “Although” is incomplete, so the conclusion does not form a complete thought. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement, articles, and verb forms in each sentence.

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