Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

As of today, the population of some nations includes more young adults than older people. I think the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages because a young society means a stronger workforce and more revenue, despite some minor drawbacks such as a less experienced workforce and a competitive job market.

If a country has more young people, there will be fierce competitions among youth in the job market. There can be the issue of supply (young people looking for jobs) exceeding the demand (available job vacancies). Additionally, having a few number of older people can lead to a deficit in top management roles that require highly experienced persons. For example, a recent report suggests that in Vietnam, where the population is quite young (average age is 29), the job market is extremely competitive for the youth only having 10 jobs available for every 1,000 of young persons, however, has recruitment shortage for top management jobs.

On the other hand, a young population means a strong workforce that can icrease productivity and revenue of the country. A strong workforce can drive the country economy and generate more revenue for the country. This revenue can spend on providing pensions and support for the older retirees. A society that is made up of large number of youth can easily take the burden of fewer old people. For example, France's debt level is now the highest in Europe because

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and you address both sides by discussing job competition and the economic contribution of a young workforce. However, the response only partially develops the argument: the Vietnam example is difficult to interpret, and the final example about France ends mid-sentence (“because”), leaving a supporting point incomplete. The explanation of how a larger workforce funds pensions is relevant but needs fuller reasoning or a specific, complete example. The response is also 228 words, 22 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop your ideas. Complete the France point and explain more clearly why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your position, followed by a paragraph on disadvantages and one on advantages. Transitions such as “Additionally” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between points. However, progression is weakened by the abrupt ending of the final example and by some unclear links within sentences. In the Vietnam example, the contrast between youth job competition and a shortage of managers is compressed into one long sentence, making the relationship hard to follow. The conclusion is also absent, so the argument does not reach a clear final summary. Use shorter, more clearly connected sentences and finish with a brief conclusion that restates your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “workforce,” “productivity,” “revenue,” “job market,” and “top management roles.” These choices make the main ideas understandable and show some ability to discuss economic effects. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision, such as “fierce competitions” and “a few number of older people.” “Drive the country economy” and “take the burden” are also unnatural combinations, while “icrease” is misspelled. Aim for more accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe competition as “fierce competition” and say that a workforce can “support economic growth” rather than “drive the country economy.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex structures, including conditional phrasing (“If a country has more young people…”) and a relative clause (“roles that require…”). The main meaning is generally recoverable, but errors occur in several sentence patterns. Examples include “a few number” and “This revenue can spend,” where the noun phrase and passive construction are not formed correctly. The long sentence beginning “For example, a recent report suggests…” also joins contrasting ideas without clear grammatical control, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise accurate passive forms (“revenue can be spent”) and check sentence boundaries, especially when using “however.”

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