Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

According to the recent times, the public of several countries contain a moderate huge number of teen agers as contrast with the numbers of aged people. There are numerous benefits and negative aspects of this situation.

To begin with there are a numbers of benefits. But .one of the main and Major benefit is teenagers works on economy starts their business in different sectors . It is beneficial for our country because many teenager works on the economy and makes our country developed. furthermore they launch many new concepts regarding business.Due to this thought they generates their business skills in all over the world .There is extremely achieve their success due to their present skills and smart brain

for Example: In some county like Pakistan there are Numerous teenagers who achieve their goal and become a successful person due to their skills .

Beyond this there is the one drawback is aged people have many experience how to start business, how to achive orppunity.They manged their business and opportunity with their experience . But teenager nothing knwon regarding it. It is one of the cause of unemployment and also rise the competition for jobs . Teenagers face difficultly to achieve their goal and become a successful person . its doesn't only influence the teenagers its also influence the families and parents

for instance:in many countriy like Pakistan there many students who face difficulty apply for jobs but unfortunately,they become helpless.

In the conclusion: if the teenager population large than than aged. it is beneficial for our country because teenager introduce many skills and spread their business all overall the world.

beyond this negative aspects is country face unemployment and competition of jobs and overpopulation it also damage our country detrimentally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the situation and give a concluding view that a large young population is beneficial, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the position is not consistently clear: the introduction says there are benefits and drawbacks, while the conclusion asserts that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages without explaining the comparison. The main benefit—young people starting businesses and contributing to development—is repeated but not fully explained, and the drawback about older people’s experience is difficult to connect to the effects of having fewer older adults. The examples about Pakistan remain general. Develop a clear comparison and explain how each point affects society to make the response more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages, and a conclusion, which gives it some basic organisation. The reader can identify the broad topics of business, employment and competition. However, progression within paragraphs is weak: several sentences repeat the claim that teenagers have skills or can start businesses, while the relationship between older people’s experience and unemployment is not clearly established. Linking phrases such as “Beyond this” and “But” are sometimes awkward or do not show the precise relationship between ideas. The conclusion also introduces overpopulation without developing it earlier. Organise each body paragraph around one clear point, then explain and illustrate it, using references such as “this trend” or “these young entrepreneurs” clearly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economy,” “business skills,” “unemployment,” “competition” and “opportunity.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts difficult to understand, such as “moderate huge number,” “teenagers works on economy,” and “spread their business all overall the world.” Spelling and word-form errors—including “achive,” “orppunity” and “countriy”—also reduce clarity. Some phrases are repeated, particularly references to teenagers’ skills and business. Build a more precise set of expressions for describing demographic change and its effects, and check collocations and spelling. For example, use “young adults contribute to economic growth” rather than “teenagers works on economy.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “It is beneficial for our country because…” and “it doesn’t only influence the teenagers…”. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors that make the meaning difficult to follow. Subject–verb agreement is frequently inaccurate (“many teenager works,” “they generates”), and articles, plurals and sentence boundaries are often missing or incorrect. The opening sentence and the conclusion also contain faulty comparisons and sentence construction. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with “because,” “although” or “which.” Pay particular attention to matching verbs to plural subjects and using full stops to separate complete ideas.

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