Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent times, the issue of that more younger people than older people in some countries has become increasingly prevalent across the glove. Although this development presents several drawbacks regarding shortage of experience but i believe that its advantages particularly concerning new technologically advanced society, far outweigh the potential drawbacks.

On the one hand, the primary disadvantage associated with this topic is less experienced people. This is largly due to the fact that, older people have life long experience which is very crutial for tackling the social issues. For instance, if any problem occurs which is already solved past days then the elder who has experience to solve this problem early, generally have more advantage to solve this issue with efficiently and quickly. As a result, people wil not worried to face the same problem in the future.

On the other hand, the benifit of more younger people in a country are far more beneficial. First and foremost, younger people are more technologically advanced than older people. this stems from the fact that, currently our world is heavily depend on technology and if one country does not match the with it, eventually the country will face to cope up with other developed countris. To illustrate, for shopping nowadays younger people choose online shopping and online payment system, which helps then to reduce commuting and shopping times. Consequently technological skills give a country a faster pace and greater economy.

In conclusion, although less elder people than younger people in a society carries certain disadvantages like lack of experienced personel , i am convinced that the positive impacts on more technologocal advanged society make it a benificial development overall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the benefits of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides of the question. The point about older people contributing experience is relevant, while the discussion of younger people’s technological skills and online shopping gives a supporting example. However, the disadvantage is explained mainly through one general scenario, and the link between online shopping and a stronger national economy is asserted rather than fully demonstrated. To develop the response further, explain more specifically how a larger young workforce can benefit a country, and consider a consequence such as pressure on employment or public services. This would make the comparison of advantages and disadvantages more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the disadvantage and advantage, and a conclusion that restates your view. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. Within paragraphs, however, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “As a result” does not clearly follow from the example about elders solving a problem, and the shift from online shopping to “greater economy” needs an explicit explanation. Some sentences also contain several ideas without clear links. Use cohesive phrases to show cause and effect precisely, and make each example’s connection to your main claim explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-relevant vocabulary, including “shortage of experience,” “technologically advanced,” and “online payment system,” and the intended meaning is generally understandable. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, as in “largly,” “benifit,” “personel,” and “technologocal advanged.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “across the glove,” “match the with it,” and “face to cope up with.” These issues make the writing less clear and limit the range and control of vocabulary. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases, such as “keep pace with technological change” and “cope with competition.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction and cause-and-effect clauses such as “This stems from the fact that…”. The overall meaning can usually be followed, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “the issue of that more younger people” has an incorrect clause structure, and “the world is heavily depend on technology” has an incorrect verb form. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “the benifit … are” and the lowercase “this” after a full stop. Review clause construction, subject–verb agreement, and verb forms, then proofread punctuation and capitalization. More accurate complex sentences would strengthen the response.

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