Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Some countries of the large population in the many country includes a revatively large number of young adults as compared with the number of older people. There are many advantages and the disadvantages on it.

First of all, the population increase in the different country in witch many problem in the this case less education sector, hospitals and the other servies in this case. They reduce in one hand the people decrease the new born children then low the population. For example the Chaina is the second largest country in the world

Second of all, the population in the India is very large and the population is 800 Mellion. In majority in the new born childern 75% is man and the 25% women in the India. The one family in the total people is 12 in it. The control is one case in the low born children and the proper stuctrue follow in the case. The problem in the country is sharter of the food, limited hospitals and the limited basic faclities in the country. Many people sleep without the food or meals .

Third of all, the europe countries of the very series in the increase the population of the oun family in the europes countries in the population is very low or limited. The all the faclities in the country such as government jobs and the other faclities in the countries. There are one or two children in the family and the who people is educated.

In the my opinion is that the limited children in the country that the all faclities available for own.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes an attempt to discuss population differences and gives examples involving India, China and European countries, so it is connected to the topic. However, it does not clearly answer the central question of whether the advantages of having more young adults outweigh the disadvantages. The opening says there are “many advantages and the disadvantages,” but the body mainly describes population growth, shortages and family size, without explaining the benefits of a younger population or comparing the two sides. Several claims, such as the figures about India, are unclear and not linked to a developed argument. State your position directly, then explain and support relevant advantages and disadvantages before reaching a clear conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is divided into paragraphs and uses basic sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Second of all” and “Third of all.” These provide some visible structure. However, the ideas within paragraphs are difficult to follow, and the overall progression does not build a clear comparison or answer. For example, the first paragraph moves from education and hospitals to birth rates and China without explaining the connections. The India paragraph combines statistics, family size, food shortages and facilities, while the final body paragraph shifts to Europe. Use each paragraph for one main point, explain how its details support that point, and connect the examples to your position. A conclusion should clearly summarise your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The response uses a basic range of topic-related words, including “population,” “hospitals,” “food” and “facilities,” and attempts to refer to public services and family size. However, vocabulary is repetitive and many word choices or spellings make the meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “the population increase in the different country,” “the very series” and “proper stuctrue” are unclear or unsuitable in context. Frequent errors such as “revatively,” “servies” and “faclities” also strain the reader. Build a reliable set of expressions for discussing age structure, employment, public services and economic effects, and check spelling and collocations. More precise wording would make your examples and argument easier to interpret.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Sentence structures are very limited, with many short statements and repeated patterns beginning “First of all” or “The problem.” Attempts to form longer sentences often contain errors that obscure the intended meaning. For instance, “Some countries of the large population in the many country includes…” has an unclear subject and incorrect agreement, while “In my opinion is that…” lacks a grammatical subject structure. Articles, plurals and prepositions are also frequently inaccurate, as in “in the India” and “in the different country.” Practise building clear simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “which” and “although.” Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and review agreement and article use.

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