Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

IN THE MORDEN ERA,YOUNG ADULTS ARE COMPARED WITH THE AMOUNT OF SENIOR CITIZEN PEOPLE IN PORPROTION OF SOME NATIONS INCLUDES A RELATIVELY.YES THEIR ARE ADVANTAGES OF THIS SITUATION OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES. I WILL DISCUSS IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS.

HERE SEVERAL BENIFITS OF THIS COMPARITION.TO BEGIN WITH, PRIMARY FACTORE IT INSPIRE TO DO SOMETHING IN LIFE.YOUGN ADULTS COMAPRED WITH SENIOR CITIZEN YOUGN WHO PURUSING WITH THEIR OWN PROMBLE AND WHO LOST MIND CONTROL TO SOLVE THIS COMAPARITION ADMIRE TO ACHIEVE GOAL AND GIVE GOOD PATHWAY BY OILDER INDIVIDUALS WITH LIFE EXPERIANCED SOME YOUNG MAKE IDOLS OF HIM LIFE AND COPYING THAT PROFESSION OF PARTICULAR PERSON. FOR EXAMPLE PRIME MINISTER OF INDIA NARENDRA MODI,HIS ADIMRE TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY TO ACHIEVE VALUAED GOAL AND MAKE PRIDE YOURSELF.

ON THE OTHER HAND, WE CAN NOT INGORED THE SETBACK OF THE COMPARITION WITH EACH TWO GENRATION BECAUSE THE IT WILL BE LEAD WRONG PATHWAY OF LIFE. DUE TO WE DO NOT KNOW ABOUNT SENIOR EXPARECE

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position in the opening—“advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages”—and attempt to present both a benefit and a drawback. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: most of the first body paragraph discusses young people admiring older individuals, rather than explaining how a large young population benefits a country. The example of Narendra Modi is not clearly connected to the population balance, and the disadvantage is left unfinished (“we do not know about senior experience”). The essay also falls short of the required minimum of 250 words, so there is not enough explanation or support to develop your position. To improve, explain specific social or economic effects on a country and support each with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt at a basic essay structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “To begin with,” and a contrasting paragraph introduced by “On the other hand.” These signals show that you are trying to organise the response around advantages and disadvantages. However, the ideas within the first body paragraph are difficult to follow, and the relationship between admiration for older people and a youthful population is unclear. The final paragraph ends abruptly, so the discussion has no completed conclusion or clear final position. Some linking phrases, such as “Due to,” do not lead into a complete explanation. Use one main idea per paragraph, explain it in a logical sequence, and finish with a conclusion that restates your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors often make the intended meaning difficult to understand. For example, “comaparition” appears repeatedly where you seem to mean the population comparison, while “lost mind control” and “make idols of him life” are unclear expressions. You do attempt topic-related terms such as “senior citizens,” “generation,” and “life experience,” but these are not used accurately or consistently. Focus first on choosing precise, natural phrases for the task, such as “a larger proportion of young adults” and “the older population.” Proofread spelling carefully and avoid repeating an unclear word; accurate, straightforward vocabulary will communicate your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response shows very limited control of sentence structure, and frequent errors sometimes distort meaning. For instance, “Yes their are advantages” has an incorrect verb form, while “the it will be lead wrong pathway of life” contains an unclear and faulty clause. Several sentences run together without clear grammatical boundaries, particularly the long sentence beginning “Young adults compared with senior citizen.” There is little evidence of accurate complex sentence construction, and punctuation is often missing or inconsistent. Practise writing complete simple sentences with a clear subject and verb before combining ideas. Then check verb forms, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries; for example, state one clear reason and follow it with a separate supporting sentence.

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