Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Currently, there are some nations that have a large number of young adults and fewer older people in their population. Although this situation has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that the benefits of having a younger population outweigh the drawbacks.

The main advantage of this situation would be a greater workforce the country possesses due to its young people. The young people contribute a lot more to the economy than older people, as they are mostly retired. The younger generation can either migrate to other countries and send remittances back home, which helps in the balance of payment. A country with a large number of young adults can provide a workforce for countries that lack a younger population. For example, in Pakistan, around 60 percent of its population is young. Pakistan can send the least skilled people to work as labor in countries like Dubai and Saudi Arabia. Pakistan can keep the talented people in the country for the purpose of swift progress.

The main disadvantage is the mismanagement of the resource the country has in the shape of many young people. The key difference between young people being a dream or nightmare of a country is how well you use them. In Pakistan, many people are jobless even with prestigious degrees, whether they are engineers or doctors. In this situation, people start migrating to another country with their families. They no longer send remittances once their loved ones pass away. However, on the other hand, countries like China used their young population to such an extent that they became the manufacturing hub of the world.

In conclusion, the large number of young people means having a greater workforce, but it all depends on how they are managed. They could either end up jobless or contributing to the economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks, and you discuss both sides. The workforce and economic contribution are relevant advantages, while unemployment and poor management provide a relevant counterpoint. However, the response does not consistently establish why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The Pakistan example about sending workers abroad is explained, but the claim that talented people can be retained for progress is not developed; the discussion of migration and remittances in the disadvantage paragraph is also difficult to follow. The China example is brief and does not show specifically how its experience supports your comparison. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of each point and make the final judgement explicit by weighing the benefits against the risks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of discussion easy to identify. You also use signposting such as “The main advantage,” “The main disadvantage,” and “In conclusion.” At times, however, connections between ideas are unclear or mechanical. For example, “They no longer send remittances once their loved ones pass away” introduces a point whose link to unemployment and migration is not explained, and “However, on the other hand” uses two contrasting signals together. The conclusion summarises the discussion but does not clearly restate why the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “workforce,” “economy,” “remittances,” “jobless,” and “manufacturing hub.” These terms help communicate the central ideas, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “balance of payment” and “swift progress,” but some choices are inaccurate or unnatural. “Balance of payment” would normally be “balance of payments,” while “send the least skilled people to work as labor” is an awkward way to describe overseas employment. “The resource the country has in the shape of many young people” is also imprecise. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording, especially when describing economic effects and employment. This would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction (“Although this situation has both advantages and disadvantages”) and conditional phrasing (“They could either end up jobless or contributing to the economy”). Most sentences communicate their meaning, and errors rarely prevent understanding. Some grammatical choices are less controlled, however. In “a greater workforce the country possesses,” the word order is awkward; “a larger workforce for the country” would be clearer. “The main disadvantage is the mismanagement of the resource the country has” would benefit from a plural form and clearer clause structure, such as “the resources a country has.” Review articles, plurals, and sentence construction, while continuing to use complex clauses. More consistently accurate structures would improve clarity.

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