Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people which become rising commonly. In my view, the advantages of this trend significantly outweigh its disadvantages because of two reasons. The first reason is young adults know the modern solution for modern problems and the another reason is young adults are well educated than older people because the education system of this world has been enhanced that means young adults have enhanced knowledge to run the world.

On the one hand, there are certain drawbacks to this development. The main disadvantage is that young adults doesn't have much experience to do jobs or tasks. Older citizens have experience of years for the specific job that they were doing in their life. Young adults are of age 18-25 and they are trying to find some jobs to fulfill their basic needs but due to not having any experience many of them don't get hired. For instance, when I cleared my +2 level, I try to find some jobs in photoframe shops, furniture shops, casiers etc. but due to lack of experience I didn't got any jobs. Consequently, I have many jobs offer but I didn't got hired in any of them because I was a young adult and suddenly it made me realise that being young adult isn't always advantageous sometimes it's a moment of loosing opportunities. Another issue is lack of stamina while doing jobs and it is indirectly connected with not having experience in jobs. Young adults doesn't have stamina like older individuals while performing jobs because older citizen have many years of experience regarding to their job.

On the other hand, I believe the benefits are far more significant. Firstly, young adults have enhanced knowledge for this modern world which can lead to their problems. Young adults learns various thing from the internet and obtain that knowledge in their daily life. However, many young adults are doing crypto minings to earn money and making content to post it in social medias platforms to get views to earn revenue from it. Some are doing freelancing to earn money. A clear example is that after my +2 when I didn't find any jobs, I take a free online Artificial Intelligence course and I create a faceless youtube channel to post AI content there to generate revenue from it. Young adults finds modern solution for modern problems they are not getting jobs due to not having experience so, they start to do work from home without joing any companies and the interest thing is that they don't need any experience and stamina all they need is a good internet, a good smartphone or laptop and knowledge. Secondly, it have less risk than working in some shops or companies because they don't have any tension to get fired from their job.

In conclusion, despite some minor negative consequences, I believe the advantages of young adults population increasing in many countries are much more prominent because in this time all countries needs young adults to develop their countries because young adults has curiosity to learn everything.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the benefits of a larger young-adult population outweigh the drawbacks, and you address both sides of the question. The discussion of limited work experience is relevant, and your personal example about seeking work after completing +2 helps illustrate this disadvantage. You also give examples of online work, such as freelancing and creating AI content, to support your view of young adults’ adaptability. However, some points are not fully explained or are unclear: the claim that older people have less stamina is asserted without convincing support, and the link between young people’s knowledge and solving modern problems could be developed more precisely. The conclusion restates your view but offers little synthesis of the reasons. The 20 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, the sentence beginning “Another issue is lack of stamina” does not clearly follow from the point about hiring experience, while “it is indirectly connected” does not explain the relationship. The advantages paragraph also repeats the idea that young people can work online without experience. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and avoid repeating the same point in different wording.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “experience,” “freelancing,” “revenue,” and “develop,” and these choices make your main ideas understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “young adults,” “jobs,” and “modern,” and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural. Examples include “modern solution for modern problems,” “enhanced knowledge,” and “doing crypto minings.” There are also spelling or word-form problems, such as “casiers,” “social medias platforms,” and “loosing opportunities,” which reduce precision. Aim to use more exact expressions for employment, skills, and technology, and check collocations and spelling. This would make your argument clearer and more natural without changing its central ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when,” and “which,” so there is some variety in structure. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “young adults doesn't have” should use a plural verb, while “I didn't got hired” needs the base form after “didn't.” In “Young adults learns various thing,” both the verb and noun form need adjustment. Some long sentences also join several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries, particularly in the discussion of online work. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and divide sentences when they contain several separate claims. More accurate control of these structures would improve readability.

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