Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

As the number of world population increases, Number of people belong to different age groups increase but we gonna compared the large number of young adults with the number of older people.

Young people is the backbone of a country. Take an example from the world, you gonna see with the country having large number of young people their economy is also booming, furthermore people living their are happy.In addition, they have secure and stable jon opportunity.Pakistan having a large number of youth, you see this country trying everything to provide opportunity and build the businees. whereas our older people relax and just sit on the beds, taking with their partner or hangout with the friends.

Compared with older people demoniate the economy, like Japan economy is working prefectly fine but they are facing shortage in the workforce.See delay in the number of different projects.It will be a burden for a government to give pension to these adults.Which will affects your country economy and decrease the development projects.Japan facing some trouble in the payments.They have to sell their bonds to give some money to government.

To conclude, majority of young people help to boost your economy in every aspect and provide jobs opportunity. Help everyone when you get struck and do everything.Older people doesn't have enough force and their minds is more toward discrimation

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a position that a large young population is beneficial, and you offer relevant points about economic growth, employment and the cost of pensions. The examples of Pakistan and Japan also show an attempt to support your view. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the disadvantages of having fewer older people are not really considered, and the comparison is sometimes unclear. Claims such as young people being happy or older people simply relaxing are broad and unsupported. The conclusion repeats the main benefit but does not clearly weigh advantages against disadvantages. The response is also 26 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support your argument. Explain both sides and state explicitly why one outweighs the other.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response moves from the benefits of a young population to concerns about an ageing population, then gives a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “furthermore,” “In addition” and “To conclude” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is not consistently clear, and several ideas are joined without showing their relationship. For example, the discussion of Japan shifts from workforce shortages to delayed projects and bond sales without explaining the links. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, and the conclusion introduces points such as helping people when they are “struck” without connecting them clearly to the argument. Use clearer topic sentences, develop one main point at a time, and make references such as “they” and “this” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “workforce,” “pension,” “economy” and “development projects,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate enough to make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “secure and stable jon opportunity,” “older people demoniate the economy,” and “their minds is more toward discrimation.” Spelling errors such as “businees,” “prefectly” and “discrimation” also reduce clarity. Informal wording such as “gonna” and “sit on the beds” is not suitable for an academic essay. Build a more precise vocabulary for describing demographic effects, and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using longer sentences and clauses, but the range of structures is limited and errors are frequent, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to follow. Subject–verb agreement is often inaccurate, as in “Young people is” and “Older people doesn't have.” Verb forms and sentence construction are also problematic in “Compared with older people demoniate the economy” and “Which will affects your country economy.” Several sentences are fragments or are joined with punctuation that does not show the relationship clearly, including “See delay in the number of different projects.” Work on accurate simple sentences first, especially agreement and verb forms, then practise combining them with correctly punctuated subordinate clauses.

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