Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

I know that in so many countries the population increases gradualy.I know that at the present time,the population of some countries inclueds a relatively large number of young adults as compared to the number of older people.I think that the reason is due to increasing of number of dieases.The young adults have good health.In the present time as population increases gradualy every country required many things.For this purpose in every country the number of industries,factories,and other facilities are required in big amount.Due to pollution of these things older people face many number of dieases.Due to increasing the desises the older people would not be able to face this challenges and lost thier health.Due to this reason i think thatit is not good.Advanteges is that we have so many facilities .Due to these facilities we spend a good life in easy way.Increasing number of young adults it is so good for every country because today the young adults are so intelligent .Due to there intelligency every country work so good.There are so many adventages and disadvantages .In front of my life i see the country whoi face this situation.This is good for every country which face this situation and get succeed .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a view that having many young adults is beneficial, and you mention possible advantages such as a capable workforce and improved facilities. However, the response only minimally addresses whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the disadvantages are not clearly identified or weighed against the benefits, and claims such as “every country work so good” are not supported with relevant explanation or examples. Your position is also difficult to follow because you first say “it is not good” and later conclude that the situation is good. The response contains 193 words, below the 250-word minimum; the nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop both sides, state your judgement consistently, and support it with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to move from an explanation of population growth to disadvantages and then advantages, and the final sentence offers a conclusion. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the progression is difficult to follow. The repeated connector “Due to” links many claims mechanically, while “For this purpose” does not clearly show how the preceding point leads to the next one. The shift from “it is not good” to “This is good” also leaves the overall argument unclear. Group the introduction, each side of the argument, and the conclusion into separate paragraphs; use clearer links such as “By contrast” and “Overall,” and make each sentence develop one connected point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “population,” “industries,” “facilities,” and “intelligent,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations that sometimes make meaning harder to understand. For example, “in big amount” and “face many number of dieases” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “adventages” and “desises” are misspelled. Try to use more precise terms for the argument, such as “working-age population,” “labour force,” and “pressure on public services.” Proofread spelling and learn common word combinations as complete phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “Due to pollution of these things older people face many number of dieases,” but most sentence patterns remain simple or are joined without clear grammatical control. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently: “every country required” needs a suitable present-tense verb, and “the young adults are so intelligent” does not fit the general statement as naturally as “young adults are intelligent.” The opening also joins two independent statements with a full stop but no clear paragraph structure. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “which.” Check subject–verb agreement and punctuation when editing.

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