Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Now the word population in increasing day by day .Asia is the most populated continent in the word . Due the modern technologies the dead rate is reduce now a day and population is increasing continuously. on the other hand large number of young adults is important for every country because adult are the backbone of every country .But in the pakistan population is increasing day by day .it put a lot of pressure on state to produce more job and other opporunities . Lot of popuiation should face shortage of food problem .weshould effect our import and export . Now a day our imports are to much increasing .we are agricultural country but we import lot of food from other country . this importimg will increasing the price of everything . We should creat a lot of problem for us .Due to high population resoucres should also increase .youth play important role in the country but if job are not avaible our youth are falling bad habbit and this is very bad thing .And by increasing in our population our economy had been great effected because resource should limited .due this reason pakistan is not developing.

In the end i think we should our resource and divided the resource equally to everyone .Government should provide job opportunity and also for the progress of pakistan .the progressing country has lower population rate .in the under developing has higher populaton rate that is the reason .We should poper action on this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify relevant consequences of a large young population, including potential pressure on jobs, food supplies, imports and public resources, and you mention that young people can contribute to a country. However, the response does not clearly answer the comparison in the question: it never states whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Most of the discussion focuses on population growth in Pakistan rather than weighing the effects of having more young adults than older people. Several claims, such as “the progressing country has lower population rate,” are asserted without explanation or a relevant example. To improve, state your position in the introduction, explain both advantages and disadvantages of a youthful age structure, and support each main point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it begins with background, develops concerns about population and resources, and ends with a recommendation. Some linking expressions, including “on the other hand,” “because,” and “In the end,” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the response is largely one continuous block, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the introduction, main points and conclusion. Ideas also shift abruptly—for example, from food imports to youth unemployment and then economic development—and several links are unclear or repetitive. Use separate paragraphs for your position, advantages, disadvantages and conclusion. Within each paragraph, develop one central idea in a logical order and use clear references to show how each sentence relates to the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “backbone,” “shortage,” “resources,” “opportunity” and “economy,” and the general subject is usually recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems make some phrases difficult to understand, including “dead rate,” “falling bad habbit,” and “our economy had been great effected.” Some combinations are not natural in English, such as “produce more job” and “do our import and export.” Aim to learn accurate topic collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help you explain the effects of a youthful population rather than relying repeatedly on general terms such as “problem,” “increasing” and “important.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple statements and attempts a few longer sentences with “because” and “if,” but control is weak and errors occur throughout. Examples include “the population … is increasing” expressed as “is increasing” with an incorrect opening construction, “adult are,” “it put,” and “if job are not avaible,” which show problems with agreement, verb forms and plurals. Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are also inconsistent, making some long sequences hard to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, tense and punctuation in each sentence; for instance, make sure the subject and verb agree and use a full stop when one idea is complete.

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