Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In present time, the population of some countries has relatively more number of young adults than the number of older people. In my prespective, having a large number of young people can be very beneficial for a country as they can contribute significantly to the country's progress.

Youngsters are valuable assests for a country because they contribute to economic growth and national development. For example, an educated youngster is a great workforce he can be a successful doctor treating people or contribute to country politics by sitting in the government.The young adults has more will and motivation to work for the betterment. For example, New York's young mayor Zohran Mamdani is proving to be a very effective leader for his people introducing many developmental work in New York. The youngter can generally contribute to economic progress by working their different industries.A large workforce can increase productivity improving overall growth. Young people introduce new ideas and innovation. For instance, the youngster these day are very aware of artificial intelligence and can use it for beneficial purpose such as generating money.

However, if the government cannot provide enough jobs, many young people may struggle to find employment. Under these circumstances the youngsters may not able to contribute to country and may face financial difficulties. Morever, a rapidly growing younger population can also create a great pressure on a country's education system potentially reducing education quality. As a result, the younger population remained unemployed and under educated will create additional burden on the government.

In connclusion, i believe that young adults can contribute greatly to a country progress, but a rapidly growing younger if remain unempolyed and uneducated can create a great pressure on the government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe a large young-adult population is beneficial overall, while recognising risks if jobs and education are insufficient. You address both advantages and disadvantages, using relevant examples such as young people contributing to industry and the pressure on education systems. This meets the task, but the comparison of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is not fully developed. The benefits receive several points, while the disadvantages are stated more briefly, and the conclusion repeats the concern about unemployment without explicitly weighing it against the benefits. Develop one or two points on each side with clearer explanation, then make the comparison explicit in your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. The shift signalled by “However” helps the reader follow the change in direction, and examples generally appear alongside the points they support. This is a coherent arrangement, with some progression from economic contribution to employment and education concerns. To make the organisation more effective, group related ideas and use clearer links between them; the benefits paragraph moves quickly from workforce contributions to a political example and then to AI. Some connections are also compressed, particularly around the example of the mayor. More precise referencing and transitions would make the flow smoother and less list-like.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “national development,” “productivity,” “innovation,” and “financial difficulties.” These choices communicate the main ideas and show an attempt to use language suited to the topic. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the phrasing awkward, as in “valuable assests,” “developmental work,” and “contribute to country politics.” There is also repetition of “youngsters” and “young people.” Aim for more natural combinations and vary your references to this group. Proofreading spelling and choosing precise collocations would make your vocabulary more controlled and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if the government cannot provide enough jobs” and a result clause beginning “As a result.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “The young adults has” should use a plural verb, and “an educated youngster is a great workforce” does not form a clear grammatical relationship between the person and the workforce. The sentence about the doctor and government also needs clearer punctuation and structure. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and building complex sentences around one clear main clause; this will help you express your ideas more accurately.

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