Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, the population of some countries mainly have a higher proportion of young generation than the elderly people. The benefits of having young people in a country outweigh the drawbacks because young adults are energatic and they learn new skill faster than older.

One of the main advantages is that young population are energetics. They can work more faster than elder and get low salaries. Furthermore, young individuals have strong body and which reduce the medical cost for the firm and industry. For example, China industry growth lead by young business mind and workers, they works 12 hours shift nonstop to grow economy. As a result, now China is the world top economy with young talent and businessman. In addition, young generation are familar with things easily and learn more faster than older such learning artifical intellegence is easier for them.

The main disadvantage is less loyalty. The youth is less attach to their culture and values therefore they move to foreign countries for carrer and professional life. While older people stay in the country there they born and raised. For example. a large number of Pakistani youth are moving to internation countries for study and job opportunities. As a result, young talent leave country and economy face downfall.

In conclusion, young population have several benefits than drawbacks but they are not loyal to the country and leave it for better carrer,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall answer: you believe the benefits of a large young-adult population outweigh the drawbacks, and you discuss both sides. The points about energy, learning new skills and emigration are relevant, with China and Pakistan offered as examples. However, the support is limited and some claims need clearer explanation: for instance, the link between young workers and China becoming a leading economy is asserted rather than demonstrated, while the loyalty argument is not fully connected to the question of age structure. The response also contains 232 words, below the required 250, so the ideas have less room to be explained. Develop each main point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and a more balanced, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, one on a disadvantage, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify your main position and follow the broad direction of the argument. You also use signposts such as “Furthermore,” “In addition” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several links feel mechanical or incomplete. The sentence beginning “For example. a large number…” has incorrect punctuation that interrupts the flow, while “As a result” does not clearly establish how the preceding point leads to the stated outcome. The conclusion repeats the main ideas but ends abruptly. Organise each paragraph around one claim, explain it, and then connect the example explicitly to that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “proportion,” “medical cost,” “professional life” and “economy,” and you attempt to express ideas about employment, skills and migration. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation errors make parts of the response less clear. Examples include “energetics,” “familar,” “artifical intellegence” and “carrer”; phrases such as “get low salaries” and “young business mind” are also not natural in this context. Repetition of “young,” “older” and “faster” further restricts precision. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations, especially when describing employment, economic growth and migration.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause with “because” and a contrast introduced by “While.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but the range is limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes making relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “the population … mainly have” has subject–verb disagreement, “they works” uses the wrong verb form, and “young population are” lacks appropriate agreement and article use. The phrase “strong body and which reduce” is structurally incomplete, while “young population have” repeats agreement problems in the conclusion. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles and complete clause construction, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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