Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people believe that the number of young adults is present in some countries as compared to the number of elderly citizens. From my perspective the advantages are far outweigh disadvantages because younger generation play significant roles in the protection of the environment, and to innovate more useful technologies for the better future.

One of the main advantage of the number of youngsters is the interest in cleaning the environment as most adults engage in those types of activities that are physically demanding such as tree plantations for cleaner air, and cleaning rubbish from the sea require physically active public for their country. Moreover, another advantage is that the middle age groups innovate new technologies for their home country. Innovation of new technologies requires greater academic skills which have been learnt by mid-aged adults, and through these skills, they introduce different digital technologies by using their critical thinking for the better economy. Therefore, young adults are more willingly accepted as compared to older people in some countries so that they can contribute to make their countries full of prosperous.

On the other hand, there are few demerits also of not having senior citizens in their country. Firstly, the increase rate of broken families, since the reduction of elderly people turn out splitting the families into two because of no support and right guidance. For instance, without any guidance from an elder, people engage in bad activities like crimes, theft that can be considered as a disadvantage for not only for themselves but also for their country. Secondly, no learning of traditional customs as they can contribute their part in teaching about morals and traditions of their culture.

To conclude, although there are disadvantages of not considering senior citizens in some countries, I believe pros of having adult age people are more as compared to cons. Therefore, this is because they take part actively in the protection and produce more technical systems for the future world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks, and you address both sides of the question. The points about environmental work and technological innovation are relevant, while the discussion of family guidance and cultural traditions gives the opposing view. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. The claim that young adults help protect the environment is illustrated with physical activities, but the link between a larger young population and these benefits could be explained more directly. The point about technology focuses on middle-aged adults, which does not fully match the task’s emphasis on young adults. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation or specific example, and make the comparison of advantages and disadvantages more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” help identify the stages of the argument. This meets the lower-band expectation for coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, several links feel mechanical, and some references are unclear. For example, “Therefore, young adults are more willingly accepted” does not clearly follow from the preceding points, while “this is because” in the conclusion has an unclear reference. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each claim directly to the next with precise referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “physically demanding,” “critical thinking,” “traditional customs,” and “digital technologies,” so the reader can understand the main ideas. There are also attempts to express more complex concepts, such as the effect of older people’s guidance on families. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “the number of young adults is present,” “tree plantations,” and “full of prosperous” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Some wording is also repetitive, particularly “advantage” and “technologies.” Build a more reliable set of collocations for population trends and social benefits, and check whether each phrase sounds natural in context. These changes would make your meaning clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “since,” and “as,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. Some sentences are also extended to explain cause and effect. However, errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction recur. For example, “younger generation play” needs subject–verb agreement, and “One of the main advantage” requires a plural noun after “one of.” The sentence beginning “Firstly, the increase rate of broken families” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence, and “not only for themselves but also for their country” has an awkward grammatical parallel. Review agreement and article use, and ensure every sentence has a clear subject and finite verb. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen your complex sentences.

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