Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
At the current state of the world population shows the information about some countries contain a huge number of youngsters in comparison with the amount of elderly people. I agree to the point that the advantages of this situation is more vital than the disadvantages. A countries gross development depends on the popolation, its like to have a connection of the number of people living and people actually making changes for better future of the country. Younger adults create a great amount of impact on countries overall growth.
In one hand, Adults with creativity in their own field beats the chellenges quite fast that an olderly person would face so much difficulty to go through. Also the progressing nature, finding better opportunities and changing thoughts of modern living younger person make them unique in their own way to deal with different circumstances rather than the one with different opinions, physical activeness and process on their own ,such as elderly people. This is where the actually clash stands out .
On the other hand, from the modern world adults have only few knowledge or experience about culture and heritage or sometimes about prediction or logical decision making comparing those elderly persons. This is where they lag behind and for that some of them tend to forget their heirs or the past, aspects and about what enroots them to their tradition. This is the alarming phase for the next genarations.
In conclusion, i firmly believe that worlds rising populations holds an enourmous part of young adults are bringing stronger innovation in all aspects contrasting thoes who are elderly in age.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You give a clear overall view that the benefits of a younger population are greater, and you address both sides by discussing innovation and energy alongside the value of older people’s cultural knowledge and judgement. These points are relevant, but they are only partly developed. For example, the claim that younger adults contribute to “countries overall growth” is repeated in the conclusion without a specific explanation or example of how this benefits society. The disadvantage about forgetting heritage is also introduced but not fully connected to its wider consequences. To strengthen the response, explain each main point with a concrete example and make the comparison between the advantages and disadvantages more explicit throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. The paragraphing helps the reader identify the main stages of the argument, and signposts such as “On the other hand” make the contrast clear. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long sentences, particularly the discussion of younger people’s creativity and adaptability. Phrases such as “This is where the actually clash stands out” do not clearly explain the relationship between the preceding points. Use clearer topic sentences, develop one idea at a time, and make references such as “they” or “this” unambiguous. This would make the overall organisation more consistently easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “innovation,” “culture and heritage,” “logical decision making,” and “tradition,” which shows some range beyond basic language. However, the usable range is limited by frequent inaccurate word choices, spelling errors, and unnatural combinations. Examples include “gross development,” “beats the challenges,” “olderly person,” and “worlds rising populations holds.” These expressions can make the intended meaning difficult to interpret, especially in the conclusion and the second body paragraph. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. For instance, describe a country’s “economic development” and say that young adults “overcome challenges” or “contribute to growth.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “that” and comparisons between younger and older people. However, complex sentences are often not controlled successfully, and errors in agreement, articles, sentence construction, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For example, “the advantages of this situation is” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “A countries gross development depends” combines an incorrect article and plural form. The sentence beginning “Also the progressing nature…” lacks a clear grammatical structure. Practise building accurate sentences around one main clause, then add subordinate clauses only when their relationships are clear. Check agreement and sentence boundaries during editing.
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