Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

At present, number of youngsters are increasing day by day and several countries experince a huge number of young people comperatively older individuals. While this trend has many advantages but there are some downsides that are worth considering. I believe that the merits of this situation far outweigh any potential drawbacks.

To begin with, one of the major advantages caused by large number of young adults is increasing the economic growth. When countries have a large number of young people, it creates possibility to employ them at several work because youth is the power. After industrial revolution a large numbers of mills, and factories were erected and if countries employ their adult in thoese companies, they create oppurtunity to earn more and foster their economic growth. In addition, countries will export their adult in another countries which will help to bring foreign money. Moreover, young people have more resistance to sickness is another positive aspect. Illness is the common problems among teenagers and older people but in the cause of young people, they have more tolerance limit at the time of sickness. A recent research showed that immunity system at young adults are more stronger than older individuals.

Despite these advantages, there are two main drawbacks to having more young individuals. First and furemost, increasing expense of their government. This is because government need to establish an adequate number of school, college and sports centre which will added extra pressure to its budget. Finally, unemployment is another problem. If young people increase, it will causes unemployment problem because most of the developing countries are unable to employed their all adult people.

In conclusion, it can be stated that although the negetive sides of young population are increasing unemployment and putting extra pressure on budget, and its positive aspects are helping to increase economic growth and more tolerance level at sickess. I strongly belive that the demerits of large number of yound people outweighs by its merits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: “the merits of this situation far outweigh any potential drawbacks.” The economic contribution of young workers and the costs of education and unemployment are relevant reasons, and the conclusion returns to your position. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that countries can “export their adult” is unclear, and the discussion of young people’s resistance to sickness is not clearly connected to the overall benefits for a country. Develop the strongest points with a specific explanation or example, and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicit so the reader can see why the benefits outweigh the costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “In addition,” “Despite these advantages,” and “In conclusion” helps show the direction of the argument. Overall, the ideas are arranged coherently, but some links are mechanical or unclear. The first advantage paragraph moves from employment to exporting workers and then to health without explaining how these points connect. “Finally” introduces unemployment, although it is the second drawback rather than a final stage in a sequence. Group related ideas more carefully, use pronouns with clear references, and add transitions that explain relationships between claims rather than relying mainly on formulaic markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “unemployment,” “government,” and “foreign money,” and you attempt less common expressions such as “tolerance limit.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “export their adult in another countries” does not express the intended idea clearly, while “increasing expense of their government” is an awkward phrase. Spelling errors such as “experince,” “oppurtunity,” and “negetive” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for employment, public spending, and demographic change, and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “If young people increase, it will causes unemployment problem” and a concession in the introduction. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction occur often enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. Examples include “number of youngsters are increasing,” “a large numbers of mills,” and “government need to establish.” The final sentence, “the demerits … outweighs by its merits,” also has an incorrect verb pattern. Practise forming accurate subject–verb combinations and using articles and plurals, then check each sentence for a complete, correctly linked structure. Greater control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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