Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the morden world the number of young adults are largly live in some country, so those countries have advange adults can rise production power of country. From my opinon there are lot of disadvantages of having a large numaber of population because they need high funds for education which make burdens on government.

The key reason behind advantages of have high adult are young worker and protect country. The young individuals have more energy to work, so use that energy of adults to rise the productional capicity of country because this is the signifant for country, these will reduce dependency on other country. Fothermore young adult can join troop to protect the country and they also can attack on enemy. youge adults atract new opportunity for country. example of this is Indina. India has more than half of population is young so indian goverment is creating jobs opportunity for adult and they also funds new startup for utilze the population telant.

However, there are several reasons why large population is dangurs to country. Firstly, large population mean high demand of natural reasoures which will lead to high supply of the natural reasours, this wil damage the enviroments and creat poplution. Secondaly, the large population need extreemly largr funds for the health care and education for citiz. this will creat a burden to goverments so government take loan to fulfil their expenditure. the clear example of this pakistan. In Paksetan most of the young adult demand for natural resoures to complet their requrement and they are uneducated beecause goverments did not have funds to educate population.

In conculsion there is no clear result of this. But From my point of view overpopulation will cause high enviroment damage. Howevwe there are several benifit of over population also like lage number of worker and troops.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question by discussing the potential benefits of a young population, such as a larger workforce and military, and drawbacks including pressure on resources, education, and healthcare. India and Pakistan are relevant examples, and your conclusion indicates that you see disadvantages, particularly environmental damage, as significant. However, the response does not give a consistent, direct answer to whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: “there is no clear result” leaves the position uncertain, and the final sentence lists benefits without comparing their importance. Several points, such as the claim that young adults can “attack on enemy,” are asserted rather than explained. State your judgement clearly in the introduction and conclusion, then develop the strongest reasons with specific explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondaly,” and “However” help signal the main stages of the argument. Nevertheless, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because ideas are joined without clear explanation. For example, the advantages paragraph moves from workers to military service and then to startups, while “youge adults atract new opportunity” does not clearly connect to the example that follows. Some linking is mechanical or inaccurate, and references such as “these” in “these will reduce dependency” are unclear. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, explain its effect, and use clearer links between the claim and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “production,” “dependency,” “natural resources,” “environment,” and “expenditure.” This gives you some means of discussing economic and social effects. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, for example “morden,” “productional capicity,” “dangurs,” and “telant.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “rise production power” and “high supply of the natural reasours.” These problems sometimes obscure your intended meaning rather than merely making the writing less polished. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling, word forms, and collocations; for instance, use “increase productive capacity” and “put pressure on natural resources.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some attempts at complex sentences, including “The young individuals have more energy to work, so use that energy…” and “this will damage the enviroments and creat poplution.” However, the range is limited, and frequent errors in sentence construction and agreement make several ideas hard to follow. In the opening, “the number of young adults are largly live” combines incompatible verb forms and has incorrect agreement. Other examples include “advantages of have high adult” and “large population mean,” where verb forms and sentence patterns are not controlled. Some sentences also lack a clear subject, as in “so use that energy.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete sentence structure.

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