Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People have different view regarding the population.It is widely believed that the population of youngsters in some nations covered the largest share in comparison to the number of retired persons of its total citizen living in a country.It has both merits and demerits of having youngsters in a nation.However,i believe that it offer numerous advantage.

On the one hand,there are several advantages of having younster in a country. One of them is that it help to support the economy of a country because they are the one who control its country.For example, government employee who is totally responsible to handle a country have different duties to run a country.

Another point which is worth considering considering is that it also make their country proud in every part of the world because youngester from a nation represent their country in any international conferences,game and in any organization.For instance,Pasang Lamu sherpa was a famous mountaineer who become famous for her contribution in mountaineering field.

As we know every coin has two sides,there are also some disadvantage of having extremely low number of retired person in a country. One of the demerit is that the knowledge about their culture and tradition will forget by every resident in a country after some years because old members are the one who teaches us about our culture and traditional value.For example, Japan have high number of retired person in their country so every culture on their country have in existence form.

In conclusion,from the points mentioned above illustrates that there are numerous advantages of youngster in a nation which overweigh the disadvantage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and you include relevant points about economic contribution, international representation, and the loss of cultural knowledge. However, the response only partly develops the comparison required by the question. The economic point is difficult to follow: “they are the one who control its country” does not explain specifically how a large young-adult population supports the economy. The example about a mountaineer illustrates national representation, but its link to the population balance is also limited. Your discussion of older people and cultural traditions is relevant, though the Japan example does not clearly support the claim. Explain each point more fully and compare its importance with the opposing effects.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting advantages, a paragraph on a disadvantage, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “Another point,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. Overall, the ideas are arranged coherently, but connections within paragraphs are sometimes unclear or mechanical. For example, the move from young people’s economic role to government employees is not fully explained, and “As we know every coin has two sides” is a formulaic transition rather than a precise link. Some references, including “it” and “their country,” have unclear antecedents. Use clearer topic sentences and explicit links showing how each example supports the point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “population,” “retired persons,” “international conferences,” and “culture and tradition.” This gives you enough language to communicate the general subject, but the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or forms make meaning less clear. Examples include “covered the largest share” for describing a population proportion, “younster,” “youngester,” and “overweigh.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “control its country” and “in existence form.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Build a more precise set of phrases for population trends and their effects, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some attempts at longer structures, including “because” clauses and the sentence beginning “As we know.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often inaccurate. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “it offer numerous advantage,” “it help,” and “Japan have.” Other examples include “the knowledge … will forget” and “who become famous,” where the verb forms do not express the intended meaning correctly. Articles, plurals, and punctuation also need attention; for instance, several sentences run directly into the next after a comma or full stop. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and past/passive forms, then proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation.

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