Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This question rasis a fundamental through provoking contentious and fascinating debate about the highest population of young adults comparing to older people at the present time.I believe that there are several benefits and drawbacks to this issue all of which I examine in detail to determine wheather the former outweighs the latter.

On the one hand, it is fact that now a days population is leading position.The main reason for this position is that In some countries young people are more than older people.The second argument is that the countries people are developing there country population because of getting early marriages,according to eminent their are different countries which are involed in this situaction is in India, Australia,and The United States of America.The thrid key factor is that young people are trying to developing the country and protecting. It will play a vital role in future generations.

On the other hand, it also true that the older people are low due to they health problems.The basis of this argument is that older people are dieing in early ages.Furthermore, in the present time older people are geting more health issue that leads to dead,According to analysis across the United Kingdom, France,and Germany.

In conclusion,it is evident that both the advantags and disadvantages of number of people of young adults are higher than older people in present time are relevant and siginificants , but they are not equally compelling . A Final analysis thdecide that the former is prevails over the latter.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises the topic and gives a position: the introduction says both sides will be considered, and the conclusion claims that the advantages prevail. However, it only minimally answers the central question because the advantages are not clearly identified or explained. The claim that young people are “trying to developing the country” is too vague to show how a large young-adult population benefits a country, and the discussion of older people focuses on illness and early death without explaining the wider disadvantages of having fewer older adults. The examples of countries are listed rather than used to support a reason. The response is also one word below the required minimum. Develop a clear comparison of specific benefits and costs, then explain why one side is stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting sides, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the intended organisation. However, progression within the paragraphs is weak because several claims are placed next to one another without clear explanation or connection. For example, the point about early marriages is followed by a list of countries, then a statement about protecting the country, with no clear link between them. Some linking phrases, such as “The second argument” and “The basis of this argument,” sound mechanical and do not clarify the reasoning. Build each paragraph around one main idea and connect its explanation and example explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts some topic-related and evaluative vocabulary, including “population,” “fundamental,” “contentious,” “vital role,” and “compelling.” This shows an effort to move beyond very basic wording. However, the range is limited in practice, and inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are frequent enough to make parts difficult to understand. Phrases such as “population is leading position,” “developing there country population,” and “older people are low” do not express the intended ideas clearly. There are also many spelling errors, including “rasis,” “wheather,” “situaction,” and “advantags.” Choose precise terms for demographic effects, such as workforce growth or pressure on public services, and check spelling and natural word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including the opening sentence and the concluding comparison, but control is inconsistent. Errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation frequently make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “it is fact that now a days population is leading position” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “young people are trying to developing” uses an incorrect verb pattern. The sentence beginning “The second argument is that” also becomes difficult to manage as it continues into the country list. Commas and spaces after punctuation are often missing, and some sentences run together. Use shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical structure is secure.

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