Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Having large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people in the population of some countries have many effects. Large number of young adults are more beneficial than having large number of older people. I dont have information of about the countries population but china has very less number of young adults than older people which is effecting their future and labour work. young adults have more energy and stamina to do hard work and they have more curiosity and spark to create something new or invent something. Increase in the number of older people in any country can stop the country growth. It can decrease the large number of human force. if a factory needs 100 people and they have 60 older people they can not run a facotry like that. They need healthy young people who can work in the harsh enivorement, who can think rational. I think having more young adults in any country have more advantages than having older people. in Factories, Mining tunnels, at war ships, in marine young adults are the who needed. Older people have their own place as well. Older people are always helpful in providing wisdom and experience. They have decades of experience which and a young person can never have. He always needs a guiding hand for better future. Young generation should seek guidance from older, so they don't make the same mistakes which their elders have done.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that a larger young-adult population brings more advantages, and you address both sides by discussing workers’ energy and older people’s experience. The factory example and reference to China help make the argument relevant, but several claims are broad or insufficiently explained—for example, that older people can “stop the country growth” and that a workforce with 60 older people could not run a factory. The response therefore develops the main position only partially, rather than supporting its points consistently. The response is 229 words, so it is 21 words below the 250-word minimum; the 12 words copied from the task prompt are excluded. Develop each example with a clearer explanation of its effects and include a more balanced account of the economic and social consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable sequence: it introduces the position, gives reasons for favouring a young population, and then acknowledges the value of older people. However, the ideas are presented in one continuous paragraph, so the shift from disadvantages to the benefits of older people is not clearly signposted. Connections between points are also sometimes abrupt, as in the move from China to young people’s energy and then to factory staffing. Repeated use of “young adults” and “older people” makes the progression feel repetitive, while some linking phrases do not clarify the relationship between ideas. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, counterpoint, and conclusion, and add precise transitions to show how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “stamina,” “curiosity,” “invent,” “human force,” and “guidance,” which helps communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, such as “very less number,” “stop the country growth,” and “at war ships.” Spelling errors such as “facotry” and “enivorement” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the general argument, but they make some claims less clear and precise. Aim to use more natural expressions for population and employment, and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a country’s “labour force” and explain how an ageing population may affect productivity or public services.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your writing communicates a clear general position, and you attempt to connect ideas using clauses such as “who can work in the harsh enivorement” and “so they don't make the same mistakes.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently in agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “Having large number … have many effects” has an article and agreement problem, while “young adults … are the who needed” is structurally incomplete. Several sentences begin with lowercase letters after full stops, and “I dont” lacks an apostrophe. These errors sometimes make the reader pause. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and use a mix of simple and complex sentences, checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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