Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, the percentage of youngsters is greater relatively to the proportion of senior citizens in some countries. According to my perspective, the large part of young people is a good sign compared to the senior individuals.In this eaaay i would further discuss about it.

First of all i would like to say that, in the present world it is very pleasent to know that the range of youngers overcome the number of fifty plus people. It is an excellent sign for the country and more soecifically for the development because older people can do nothing except to relax and to enjoy the rest of life. The country's everything like economy, for the management of all procedure totally depends upon the young. For instance, if there are a handsome number of workers participate in the construction of buildings, then the authorization don't need to invite the poeple from the outside of the country to do works. This would saves a substantial amount of money, because importing people from other country would cause more expenses if you don't have enough young workers for the work.

Secondly, whenever we opened the pages of history we see that, the older people has also played an extremely beneficial role in making sensable decision, due to their tremendous grip in it. For instance, as older people has seen different situation practically and they can give easy advices on it, simply for the advices, their part in the country is widespread. Despite of it young people hold everything like every system involved in the advantages of a country, alone older people can do nothing.

In conclusion, although senior citizens have involved in works which

ultimately has proven their advantages in surroungind, youngsters are the main back bone of the country. Therefore, having a large percentage of them compared to older, situation would overcome the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a position that a larger young population is beneficial, and you give relevant reasons: young adults can supply workers and support economic development, while older people can offer experience and advice. The construction example helps illustrate the employment point. However, the response addresses the comparison only partially. The disadvantages of having fewer older people are not really considered, and the claim that older people “can do nothing except to relax” is an over-generalisation that weakens the argument. Your position is present, but the conclusion’s wording—“situation would overcome the disadvantages”—does not clearly state whether the advantages outweigh them. Develop both sides more carefully and explain why your chosen side is stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “First of all,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. The ideas are generally grouped by topic, with employment in the first body paragraph and older people’s experience in the second. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the second paragraph moves from historical decision-making to the broad claim that older people can do nothing alone without clearly connecting the points. Some linking phrases are awkward or repetitive, and references such as “it” and “their part” are not always clear. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and make each paragraph develop one central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “proportion,” “development,” “economy,” “substantial amount” and “beneficial role.” These choices show an effort to discuss population and national progress rather than relying only on basic terms. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “youngers,” “overcome the number,” “handsome number of workers,” and “the authorization” where the intended meaning is unclear. There are also spelling errors such as “eaaay,” “soecifically” and “surroungind.” Aim for natural combinations such as “a large workforce,” “outnumber older people” and “government authorities,” and proofread carefully for spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if there are…” and a concession introduced by “although.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction occur throughout. For example, “the older people has also played” has subject–verb disagreement, while “if there are a handsome number of workers participate” combines incompatible structures. “This would saves” also uses an incorrect verb form. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, and some sentences run together. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them using clear subordinate structures; check agreement and verb forms during revision.

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