Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent time, the young population of some countries is relatively higher than the number of older people.It is advantageous to have a more charged younger generation because this increased the volume of capable workforce and we have generation who has more awareness towards technology. On the other hand, there are also some drawbacks interms of job requirements and having a pressure on country economy, but in my opinion the advantages outweigh disadvantages.

To have a younger generation, it can be beneficial in terms of having a workforce who is more capable to perform differents tasks that require the physical strength of young people.when we gave a tough task to a young person he is more receptive to the task on hand will perform better compare to the elderly person. Furthermore, a young man or woman has awareness towards the technology of present than the perosn who is far more older than them, so they will perform better in the technology driven tasks.For instance,a young person is dictated to work in factory where he has to work on heavy machinery using smart technology and that require physical strength he will do a better job than the older people.

On the other hand, the phenomenon of having a more younger population can also have some drawbacks as with the growing number of younger people we have to create more job opportunities for them to have a job when they come of age to work as proffessionals, consequently this will result in mounting pressure on the countrie's financial situation as it will be difficult for the country to create more jobs while keeping the substantial financial growth.So,in my opinion advantages outweigh disadvanteges as with more technology driven workforce it is possible to mitigate any financial constraint that the country may face.For example economy running on the backing of technology capable younger people will produce more goods to export and meet local needs which lessen the burden on any economy.

In conclusion, although there are disadvantages of more younger population that the older people in job and economy sector but in my opinion there are more benefits that outweigh the former in terms of more able and technology supported younger generation that can counter any financial constraint we may face.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear throughout: you argue that the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks. You address both sides and give relevant reasons, including workforce capacity and familiarity with technology, as well as the need to create jobs and the resulting pressure on public finances. The factory example and the point about producing goods for export help illustrate your argument. This meets the task well, but some ideas are asserted more than fully explained. For instance, the claim that technology-capable workers can mitigate financial constraints needs a clearer link to how this would happen, and the employment drawback could be developed with a specific consequence. More precise explanation and support would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, separate body paragraphs discuss advantages and disadvantages, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. However, some connections feel mechanical, and several sentences contain multiple ideas that would be clearer if divided or more carefully linked. For example, the factory example runs directly into the preceding point, while the final sentence of the disadvantages paragraph moves quickly from job creation to financial pressure and then to your rebuttal. Use clearer sentence boundaries and make the relationship between each claim and its explanation more explicit to strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “workforce,” “job opportunities,” “financial situation,” and “technology-driven tasks,” and you attempt some less common expressions. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, which limits precision: “more charged younger generation,” “awareness towards technology,” and “mounting pressure on the country’s financial situation” do not express the ideas naturally. There are also spelling and word-form errors, such as “differents,” “perosn,” and “proffessionals.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the main argument, but they make the writing less fluent. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling and forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “as,” and “although,” and your meaning is generally understandable. However, grammatical control is uneven, with errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries. For example, “this increased the volume” should use a verb form consistent with the present argument, while “a young person … he … will perform” shifts awkwardly between singular reference and general claims. Some sentences are also run together, as in the opening paragraph and the factory example, and punctuation around sentence starts and transitions is inconsistent. Work on constructing shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement and tense.

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