Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, it is prevalent that the number of youngsters are exploding than that of senior citizens. Rapid growth in young population significantly benefits in the development of country through new innovation in fields like economy, science, film and medicine on the grounds of quality of education. On the other hand senior citizens play a crucial role in the development supporting the young minds by providing valuable advices from their experiences.

To begin with, young generation plays a crucial role in the development of our country. It is evident that, nowadays as the opportunity to access quality education increases the skills and abilities of young people with new skills and ideas grow rapidly. Moreover, widespread use of technology boost various skills like critical thinking and logical reasoning. This have a profound influence in the establishment of successful ventures like new business ideas and inventions such as robotics. Furthermore, this elevates the economy of the country and rapid development. For instance, during COVID 19 pandemic, the knowlege and innovation of young talents helped in the invention of vaccine which saved the whole world. On top of that a plethora of improvements taken place in the film of film industry. Recently, most films directed by young minds are blockbuster in south Indian film industry. The main reason for all these variations are their freshness in thoughts that bring exceptional results.

However, senior citizens are inevitable ones who have a substantial influence in the society. They have the ability to provide valuable advices from their experience which helps the young people to choose wise decision. One of the reason for this is, they witnessed the developmental phase and developing phase of the country.

In conclusion, increase in the number of young people defintely contribute to the whole society as well as the country by development. While, senior citizens are invaluable and are able to contribute their experience for the development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the situation and give a clear overall preference for the benefits of a younger population, especially through education, innovation, business and economic development. The vaccine example and reference to the film industry help make the discussion relevant. However, the task asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and this comparison is not fully developed: the paragraph on older people mainly describes their value, without explaining what disadvantages a large young population might create or weighing the two sides directly. Some claims, such as young people’s role in vaccine development, also need more precise explanation. Develop the counterargument and state explicitly why the benefits are more significant to make the response more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two perspectives, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “However” help readers follow the main direction. Within the first body paragraph, the ideas generally progress from education and skills to innovation and economic effects. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, though, and several sentences are linked by repeated additions such as “Furthermore” and “On top of that.” The relationship between the examples and the main argument is not always made explicit, while the final paragraph repeats earlier points rather than clearly weighing them. Use fewer formulaic transitions and add clearer links explaining how each example supports your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “critical thinking,” “logical reasoning,” “successful ventures,” “inventions,” and “substantial influence.” These choices allow you to discuss education, innovation and older people’s contribution. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but some are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “youngsters are exploding,” “valuable advices,” and “improvements taken place in the film of film industry.” Spelling slips such as “knowlege” and “defintely” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and check word forms: for example, describe a population as “growing rapidly,” use “advice” as an uncountable noun, and refer to “developments in the film industry.” This would make your vocabulary more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “as,” “which,” and “who,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. However, some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction recur. For example, “the number of youngsters are” should be “the number … is,” and “widespread use … boost” needs a singular verb (“boosts”). In “This have a profound influence,” the subject and verb do not agree; “This has” is needed. The sentence beginning “While, senior citizens…” is also an incomplete contrast clause, and commas are sometimes placed awkwardly after introductory phrases. Review subject–verb agreement and practise combining contrast clauses into complete sentences to improve control.

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