Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, the population of some countries is made up of a large population of young adults. While some view this as a good thing, others believe their drawbacks outweighs the advantages. This essay will discuss both views, and argue that enormous benefits comes with having a large population of young adults in a country.

On the one hand, having a large population of youths will lead to competition for limited job available which can lead to poor renumeration by the employer. This cannot happen if older people were more. Additionally high population of young adults will lead to uneven population distribution. This is because their will be high rate of rural urban migration. This is because, a lot of adult will want to come to the cities to pursue a better life in form of educaton, work e.t.c. For example recent population census in Nigeria indicates a decense popuation in big cities like Lagos, Abuja and Kano and sparce population in smaller states.

On the other hand, there is a lot of benefits that comes with having a high populaton of youths. A population with a lot of youth will have a lot of people in the workforce which will bring about high income tax for the government. Youths also bring about development in technology, infrastructure and other aspects. This is because their will always be a ready labour market available to work. Compared to having older people that will barely improve the economy but contraily depend more on government for amenites.

In conclusion, over population of youths in a country can lead to competition for limited job available and uneven population distribution, i believe having a high population of youth will bring so much benefits compared to having large population of older people. In the future a balanced distribution of all age group will be the best for any country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: the benefits of a large young-adult population outweigh its drawbacks. Relevant points include competition for jobs and rural-to-urban migration as disadvantages, and a larger workforce, tax revenue and development as advantages. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the census example is difficult to interpret and does not clearly show how youth numbers cause the population pattern described. The claim that older people “will barely improve the economy” is also broad and unsupported. To strengthen the response, explain the mechanisms behind your main points and use a precise, relevant example, while maintaining the balanced discussion already present.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion that restates your view. Signposting such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the comparison. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear. “This is because” is repeated in the disadvantages paragraph, and the reference in “This cannot happen if older people were more” is not sufficiently clear. The census example also interrupts the paragraph’s progression because its relevance is not explained. Improve the links between claims and examples, vary transitions, and ensure pronouns and references point clearly to the idea intended.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “workforce,” “income tax,” “rural urban migration,” and “population distribution,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “limited job available” and “ready labour market,” but some combinations are inaccurate or unnatural. Spelling errors—including “renumeration,” “educaton,” “decense,” and “popuation”—reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary, while repeated use of “a lot of” limits variety. Choose precise collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, “competition for limited jobs” and “sparse population” would express your intended meanings more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which” and “because,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction remain. Examples include “their drawbacks outweighs” and “benefits comes,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “a lot of adult will want,” where the plural form is needed. The sentence beginning “This is because their will be” also has an incorrect construction. Review subject–verb agreement, plural nouns and the difference between “there” and “their.” More accurate control of these patterns, alongside your existing sentence variety, would make the argument easier to read.

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