Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Intriduction: Nowadays, the population of some countries highly rising the young individuals as compared with the number of older individuals. however, in believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because young people can contribute to economic growth and support the development of society. Body paragraph 1: there are several benefits having a larg number of young population.. Firstly, young adults are generally energetic, productive and willing to learn new skill. As a result, they can contribute to the country's economy by working in healthcare, business and technology. Moreover, a larger workforce can help companians increase production and impove their serivces. For intence, countries withmany attract foreign companian and create more employment opportunities. Therefore, a young popultion can play an important role in economic development. Body paragraph 2: on the other hand , this situation can also create some challeges. if the number of young adults increa

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position in the introduction: the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you identify economic growth and social development as reasons. The first body paragraph supports this with relevant points about productivity, employment and production. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the disadvantage paragraph stops at “if the number of young adults increa…”, so no disadvantage is explained and the comparison needed to justify your position is incomplete. The response also contains 146 words, below the required 250, leaving too little space to develop the argument. To strengthen the answer, complete both sides of the discussion, explain why the benefits are greater, and add specific examples and supporting detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction and labelled body paragraphs, and the first body paragraph follows a basic sequence from a main benefit to supporting details. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” “As a result” and “Therefore” help show relationships between ideas. However, the overall progression is incomplete because the second body paragraph ends mid-sentence, and there is no conclusion to bring the argument together. Some transitions are also awkwardly punctuated or spaced, such as “however” after the introduction and “on the other hand ,”. Develop each paragraph fully, use transitions accurately, and finish with a concise conclusion that restates your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “economic growth,” “productive,” “workforce,” “production” and “employment opportunities.” These choices make the main point understandable. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make parts difficult to interpret, for example “Intriduction,” “larg,” “companians,” “impove,” “serivces” and “popultion.” The example “countries withmany attract foreign companian” is especially unclear because key words appear to be missing or misspelled. Aim to check spelling carefully and use precise collocations, such as “a large young population” and “attract foreign companies.” Building a wider set of topic-specific terms will also help you explain disadvantages and support your comparison.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms. For example, “As a result, they can contribute to the country's economy by working in healthcare, business and technology” is a clear sentence, and “because young people can contribute…” gives a reason for your position. However, the range is limited, and frequent grammatical problems sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. The opening phrase “the population … highly rising the young individuals” lacks a correct verb structure, while “in believe” does not form a grammatical expression. There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation problems, including the lower-case “however” after a full stop and the unfinished final clause. Practise complete clauses, accurate verb forms and sentence punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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