Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowdays at the presend population of some countries includes a relatively large number of adults compared with the number of older people but some times young people used for technology ,development for socialty and human life comfatable . The essay will discuss both advantages and disavantages idea.

The maind adavanteages of telling population includes in large of young adults development of technology beacuse most of yong peope used for technology and daily life is essay and second adavantages is economic development fast resson is most of young works and they are finacaline is good condistion and development of new idea and skills because many people useed of technology and they achive for new think and human life is comfatabled .

On the other hand there are some disadavantages to sometimes yong people may think that they always competition to any time beacause older people not techonole used they not countion for job and pressure on education become education is top and lack of pentience

in my conclusion the message that youn adults can achive for anything had both good and bad sides. it can make exonomic development and confident and active . but older peope create high disappointment . There fore competitioned of any think work .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address both sides of the question and give a general view that a young population can bring economic and technological benefits, while also creating competition and pressure. However, the response does not clearly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the conclusion says there are “both good and bad sides” without making a definite comparison. The supporting points are also very brief or unclear, such as the claim that young workers support economic development and that older people may not be able to compete for jobs. The response contains 189 words, so it is 61 words below the 250-word minimum; this limits the space available to explain and exemplify your ideas. Develop each main point and state your overall judgement clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about advantages, a paragraph about disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the broad direction of the essay. You also use basic signposting such as “On the other hand” and “in my conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together without clear explanation, and some references are unclear—for example, “they always competition” and “competitioned of any think work.” The introduction promises to discuss both sides but does not establish a clear position. Use one central idea per paragraph, connect each explanation directly to its claim, and make the conclusion follow logically from the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “technology,” “economic development,” “skills,” “competition,” and “education.” These choices show that you can identify useful subject areas. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make several points hard to understand, such as “finacaline,” “comfatabled,” and “disadavantages.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “development of new idea” and “pressure on education.” Aim to learn accurate topic collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help you explain the effects of a younger population rather than relying on repeated general terms such as “development” and “technology.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You make some attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, using words such as “because” and “but,” and you include a conclusion sentence. However, sentence structures are very limited, and frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and verb forms often obscure meaning. For example, “most of young works” does not form a clear grammatical clause, while “they are finacaline is good condistion” combines clauses without a workable structure. The opening sentence also runs several ideas together without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check that each sentence has a subject and verb, and use punctuation to separate complete ideas.

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