Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At the current time, the population of some countries addeds a relatively large number if young people, compared with the number of older people. I strongly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantage in this case because the young generation are completely different from the older community.

First of all the young adults are give new ideas for growth and for counteries development that is very necessary for some counteries because some counteries have no resources for development and they didn't change the mentallity of many communties that is why young adult new ideas is very necessary for us they change the mentallity of the peoples of their country. They should be very intellegent and gave our all priority for their country then their country is rapdily increase in different ways like in industeries, education, health programce, and for their country.

On the other hand young generation gave many ideas but their new ideas damage environment and agriculture field. The older individuals mantain their environment and agriculture field. They didn't pollute and they didn't to take medicine when they are sick. They grew many herbs in their field when they feel sick they take it then they feel fresh.

In conclusion we can see new generation is very necessary for us. They give many new ideas for their country but the older peop

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall view in the introduction—“the advantages outweigh the disadvantage”—and identify possible benefits in young adults’ ideas and development, alongside a concern about environmental damage. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the benefits are asserted rather than explained with a specific example, and the discussion of older people’s herbal remedies does not clearly establish why a younger population is advantageous or disadvantageous. The conclusion is unfinished (“but the older peop…”), so your final comparison and position are not fully reinforced. The response also falls 27 words short of the required minimum. To strengthen the answer, develop both sides with relevant examples and complete a conclusion that directly weighs the advantages against the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “First of all,” a contrasting paragraph introduced by “On the other hand,” and an attempted conclusion. These markers help the reader identify the broad stages of your argument. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined into long chains, particularly the discussion of development and changing community attitudes. The relationship between young people’s ideas, national growth, and the environmental drawback is not clearly explained. The final paragraph is incomplete, which leaves the essay without a finished ending. Use shorter, clearly focused paragraphs and connect each claim to its explanation or example; make references such as “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “development,” “environment,” “agriculture,” and “industries,” and you use some topic-related expressions such as “new ideas for growth.” However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the writing harder to read, including “counteries,” “mentallity,” “intellegent,” and “rapdily.” Some word combinations are also unclear or unnatural, such as “give our all priority for their country” and “their country is rapidly increase.” Repetition of “young,” “ideas,” and “country” further limits precision. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and collocations; for example, explain how young adults can contribute to economic growth rather than relying on broad claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences using links such as “because” and “that is why,” but the longer structures are often difficult to control. Errors in verb forms and agreement appear in “the young adults are give new ideas,” “the young generation gave many ideas,” and “their country is rapidly increase.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence construction, as in “the disadvantage” and “the peoples of their country.” These errors sometimes make the intended relationships unclear. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check that verbs agree with their subjects and that tense remains consistent when describing general facts.

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