Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the present time the biggest challenge seen is the population burst happening around the globe. With the advancement in science and technology, increased life expectancy, decreased birh mortality is seen eventually leading to population explosion.

Advancements in the science and growth in the medical feild, has made profound development in finding cures of the diseases which once were the main reason of the death through out the world. This is clearly evident in our country, where once polio, chickenpox, plague were considered the main reason for pandemic. But, with advancements seen in the medicine, these incurable diseases have been completely eradicated from the country. Apart from this, increased birth rate has created a imbalance with young generation constituting the major chunk of the population. The biggest disadvanatage with such a drastic population growth is the simultaneous diminishing resources to sustain its people. Issues like diminishing jobs, lack of proper education shift of people below the poverty line, decreased access to the basic requirements is increasing. Eventaully this has lead in the increase in crime rate in the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is only minimally focused on the question. It discusses population growth and its disadvantages, especially pressure on resources, jobs, education and basic services, but does not compare these with any advantages or clearly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening also shifts to increased life expectancy and falling mortality, rather than establishing a position on the age balance described in the prompt. The examples of diseases being eradicated do not explain the effects of having more young adults. The response is also 71 words below the required minimum, leaving the argument and supporting examples substantially incomplete. To improve, state your view directly, address both advantages and disadvantages, and develop relevant examples that show why one side is stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the opening introduces population growth, and the following paragraph moves from medical progress to the consequences of a large young population. Linking expressions such as “Apart from this” and “Eventually” help signal relationships between points. However, the response has no concluding paragraph, and its progression does not build towards an answer to the comparison in the task. The shift from disease eradication to birth rates is abrupt, while the list of social problems is not clearly grouped or explained. Some punctuation and spacing also interrupt the flow. A clearer structure—position, advantages, disadvantages, and a conclusion—would make the argument easier to follow, with each paragraph focused on one main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “life expectancy,” “population explosion,” “diminishing resources,” and “poverty line.” These choices show an effort to discuss demographic and social issues, and the main meaning is generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “population burst,” “decreased birh mortality,” and “the main reason of the death.” Spelling errors, including “feild,” “disadvanatage,” and “Eventaully,” also reduce control. Some expressions are repeated or imprecise, particularly “advancements” and “increased.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “population growth” and “declining mortality rates” rather than less established phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, for example, “With the advancement in science and technology, increased life expectancy, decreased birh mortality is seen eventually leading to population explosion.” However, this sentence is difficult to control, and several others contain errors in articles, agreement, or sentence construction. In “the science and growth in the medical feild, has made,” the compound subject does not agree with “has,” and the comma is unnecessary. “A imbalance” should use the correct article, while “this has lead in the increase” has an incorrect verb form and grammatical pattern. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Use shorter, complete sentences where needed, then check agreement, articles, and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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