Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often discussed that at the present time some countries have larger portion of younger people contributing to the total population than older people.

If we look at the advantages of higher portion of youger people there is a benefit that young people can contribute more to the economy by making placement in jobs and new business creation. They will be less number of people in hospitals as younger people often get less sick than old ones. Moreover, there will be new developments in relatively short span of time as younger people have more creative minds and they tend to challenge old laws to create new things. Futhermore, there will be higher expentency of life in those countries as there will be less portion of people dying.

On the other side let us look at the disadvantages, there will be larger requirement for schools as more children and young population have need to go to the schools, colleges and universities. Moreover, family time will be of less and less priority as younger persons will tend to work. They will not have spare time for family to sit and talk with them. Futhermore, younger people will not have their parents to get advice from in difficult situations as it is often said that older generation have experience from there long life. There will be increase in number of quarrels both on domestic level and on streets as younger generation often are hot minded and tend to resolve issues by fists.

In conclusion there are both advantages and disadvantages of having larger portion of young generations. But according to me having more younger people will have many benefits on larger scale than older generation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view in the conclusion: you believe the benefits of a younger population are greater. Relevant points include economic contribution, innovation, pressure on education, and the loss of older people’s advice. However, the comparison is not fully developed, so the reader is left to infer why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Some claims are also unclear or insufficiently supported—for example, “higher expectancy of life” does not clearly follow from having more young people, and the point about family time needs a clearer link to the population’s age structure. Explain and illustrate your strongest points, then weigh them directly against the opposing effects to make your position more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The sequence within each paragraph is generally understandable, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “On the other side,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. However, the repeated use of “Moreover” and “Furthermore” makes the linking somewhat mechanical, and several ideas are placed together without showing their relationship. For instance, the claims about employment, hospital use, innovation, and life expectancy would be easier to follow if grouped or connected through explanation. Use a wider range of linking methods, including clear cause-and-effect references, and ensure each paragraph develops a central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “contribute … to the economy,” “business creation,” “developments,” and “experience.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “domestic level.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear: “making placement in jobs,” “higher portion,” and “hot minded” are examples. Spelling errors such as “youger,” “Futhermore,” and “expentency” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural phrases and check spelling carefully; precise wording will help you express the argument without relying on repeated general terms such as “young people” and “more.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses with “as” and “as it is often said,” and the main message is usually understandable. However, errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms occur across the response. For example, “there will be less number of people” needs a different quantity structure, while “family time will be of less and less priority” has an unclear grammatical pattern. In “younger people will not have their parents to get advice from,” the construction is awkward, and “older generation have” shows a mismatch between subject and verb. Work on accurate noun phrases, articles, agreement, and sentence patterns. Editing each sentence for its subject and verb, then checking how clauses connect, would improve control.

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