Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Population plays a vital role in any particular country or nation. Population basically refers to the number of citizens residing in a country. However, Large population will have more impact rather than small population.

As nowadays we can see, some countries have huge number of population mainly in young adults as compare to older ones. If we can point out this situation in proptional way like getting more young adults means there will be more new energetic ideas which directly boost any country's economy. If any country have more young adults, it will direcly effect to the more literacy, as there will be massive number of degree holders. Young pleople always find thier ways in more unique condition as most of them think independently. These are the few beneifts of getting more young adults. For instance, China have large population in the world and their economcial conditon is rising day by day.

On the other hand, less number of older people will also impact negatively to nay nation. As these are the one's who have much more experience than any others. Most of the older people have spent thier life in military, through which they have seen thier nation in more worst condtion to more better.However, it will also impact very less in a negative way, As more young ones will require more social and moral support, like they will ask for more capital from governemnt for thier start-ups

In my point of view, benefits of more young adults in any nation will have greater and positive effect rather than having more older people. Advantages of having more young ones always minimize their disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position in the conclusion, arguing that the benefits of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages, and you identify relevant points such as economic growth, new ideas and the experience older people can offer. However, the discussion only partially develops the comparison required by the question. The benefits are listed rather than explained in depth, and the claim that more young adults lead to “more literacy” and “a massive number of degree holders” is not supported. The disadvantage is also unclear: you mention the loss of older people’s experience, then shift to young people needing government support. Develop each point with a clear explanation or example, and show more directly why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a paragraph discussing disadvantages, and a concluding opinion. This gives the reader a basic route through your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims are placed together without clear links. For example, the discussion moves from young adults’ ideas to literacy and independent thinking without explaining how these points connect. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” help signal a contrast, but some transitions are mechanical or unclear, and the final sentence repeats the conclusion rather than adding a final insight. Organise each body paragraph around one main idea, then explain and illustrate it in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “economy,” “experience,” “degree holders,” and “start-ups,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning unclear. Phrases such as “in proptional way,” “impact very less,” and “more worst condition to more better” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “direcly,” “pleople,” and “governemnt,” which reduce the accuracy of the writing. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing demographic effects, and check spelling and common word combinations carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If any country have more young adults” and a relative clause beginning “through which they have seen.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and punctuation occur frequently. For example, “If any country have” should use a singular verb, while “China have” also needs subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “As these are the one's” is a fragment, and “However” is incorrectly joined to the preceding sentence. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise accurate sentence boundaries and agreement first, then use a wider range of structures with careful proofreading.

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